The Age of Science: A Newspaper of the Twentieth CenturyCobbe, Frances Power
Science
The Age of Science: A Newspaper of the Twentieth Century
Cobbe, Frances Power
Dystopias -- Fiction; England -- Fiction; Satire; Science fiction
At the Mansion House this morning, 79 men and 140 women were summoned
for the non-attendance of their boys under two years old at the Public
Infants’ Science Classes in the new Kinder Garten in the Tower.
Various pleas were, as usual, put forth by the defendants, purporting
to prove in some cases that the children were ill with small-pox and
scarlet fever, and in several instances that they were dying or dead.
Mr. Alderman Busby remarked that “if they were to listen to such
pleas, children would grow up to three or four years old without
learning even the rudiments of astronomy or palæontology.” He ordered
all the fathers to be publicly flogged, and the mothers to receive
each a dozen stripes of the birch privately, in the State Whipping
House, and to stand on benches for three days in the nearest
Elementary School during school hours.
[Similar judgments are recorded at Westminster, Worship Street,
Clerkenwell, and several other police-courts in London and the
provincial towns.]
_MIDDLESEX SESSIONS._
The Duke and Duchess of Broadacres, the Marquis of Carabas, Lady Clara
Vere de Vere, and the Lady Adeline Amundeville were brought up (in
chains) to receive sentence on the charges (fully proved against them
last week) of having deceived the Officers of Domestic Inspection
respecting their own and their children’s Canination and Porcination.
It was shown that all the defendants had been Vaccinated according to
law four times during the last twelvemonth, and Equinated twice during
the late prevalence of glanders, but though Rabies and the Measles
were both known to be raging in London, they had not only neglected to
present themselves and their children at the Canine and Porcine
Stations in Queen’s Gate, but had deceived the Inspectors as above
stated by exhibiting the former scars for the latter. Being unable to
produce any medical certificate showing that they had obeyed the law,
and having been found “guilty” by a special jury (containing, of
course, the legal proportion—three-fourths—of Medical graduates), all
five prisoners were sentenced by Mr. Justice Draco to the extreme
penalty of the law. They will be vivisected for the instruction of the
students at the magnificent new School of Physiology in Carlton
Gardens, as soon after the opening of the session as may be
convenient. Some sympathy was expressed in court for the Duke of
Broadacres, who, being an elderly nobleman in feeble health, seems to
have feared superstitiously the processes (unknown in his youth) of
using, for the purpose of inoculations, the saliva from mad dogs, as a
preventive of hydrophobia, on the principle of “a hair of the dog
which has bitten you.” The expression of misplaced public
commiseration was instantly checked by the learned Judge, and the
prisoners were removed, exhibiting many signs of trepidation. Lady
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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