The Art of Being Bored: A Comedy in Three Acts — John Shaqi
The Art of Being Bored: A Comedy in Three ActsPailleron, Edouard
General
The Art of Being Bored: A Comedy in Three Acts
Pailleron, Edouard
Comedy plays; French drama -- Translations into English
DUCHESS. It’s in my room; hurry! (SUZANNE _goes out. To_ ROGER) Quick!
On the table!
ROGER. What?
DUCHESS. The letter! She’s hidden it! I saw her!
ROGER. Hidden it? (_He goes to the table and looks for the letter_)
DUCHESS. On the corner, there! Under the black book. Don’t you see
anything?
ROGER. No—oh, yes!—a pink paper. (_He takes the letter and brings it to
the_ DUCHESS, _reading it as he walks_) Oh!
DUCHESS. What is it?
ROGER. (_Reading_) “I shall arrive Thursday.” From Bellac!
DUCHESS. (_Snatching the letter from him and reading it_) From—? But it
isn’t signed. And the handwriting——?
ROGER. Yes, disguised. Oh, he’s a crafty one! But “I shall arrive
Thursday” applies to me as well as to him!
DUCHESS. (_Reading_) “This evening at ten in the conservatory. Say you
have a headache.” A rendezvous! (_Giving him the letter_) Quick, put it
back, I hear her coming!
ROGER. (_Agitated_) All right. (_Puts letter back in place_)
DUCHESS. Come now.
ROGER. Very well.
DUCHESS. Hurry up! (ROGER _resumes his position by the side of the_
DUCHESS) And be calm! Here she is. (SUZANNE _re-enters. The_ DUCHESS
_turns over the leaves in the notebook_) Well, these are very good,
very good!
SUZANNE. Here’s your mantle, Aunt.
DUCHESS. Thank you, dear. (_Aside to_ ROGER) Speak up.
(SUZANNE _goes to the table, takes the letter, glances through it,
turning away as before_.)
ROGER. (_Agitated_) There are—well—er—certain—you have made wonderful
progress—er—I am astonished—(_Aside to_ DUCHESS, _pointing to_ SUZANNE)
Aunt!
DUCHESS. (_Aside_) Yes, she’s picked it up again; I saw her. (_The
dinner-gong sounds_) The second bell! Hurry and get dressed, Suzanne!
You’ll never be ready in time.
SUZANNE. (_Aside as she looks at_ ROGER) A rendezvous! With Lucy! Oh!
(_She goes up to_ ROGER _without saying a word and, looking him
straight in the eye, takes her notebooks out of his hand, tears them
and throws the pieces angrily to the floor; then she goes out_.)
ROGER. (_Astonished; turning to the_ DUCHESS) Aunt!
DUCHESS. A rendezvous!
ROGER. With Bellac!
DUCHESS. Nonsense!
ROGER. (_Falling into a chair_) Who could have imagined such a thing!
(_Voices heard outside. The door at the back opens._)
DUCHESS. (_Looking out_) Ah, here comes Toulonnier! And everybody,
_and_ dinner, too! Quick, go and dress! It will calm your nerves;
you’re very pale.
ROGER. Suzanne! It’s not possible! (_He goes out_)
DUCHESS. No, it’s not possible! And yet——!
(_Enter_ MADAME DE CÉRAN, TOULONNIER, M. _and_ MME. DE SAINT-RÉAULT
_and a moment later_, LUCY, MADAME DE LOUDAN, MADAME ARRIÉGO, _with_
BELLAC _in their midst_.)
MME. DE CÉRAN. (_Introducing_ TOULONNIER _to the_ DUCHESS) The
Secretary General, Aunt.
TOULONNIER. (_Bowing_) Madame la duchesse!
DUCHESS. My dear Monsieur Toulonnier, we were just going to sit down
without you.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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