“A sweeter'an-a-peech littel dudine, informed us, in reply to our questshuns, that jurseys, would be worn dubbel brested behind. That the regulashun bussel wuld containe at least six New York _Heralds_, covered over with a Texas _Siftins_, for the bennyfit of the occupants of the church pue, in the reer of the warer. That crin-nylines wuld average 4 feet, six inches, in diameter, and wuld be pervided with the new anti-ankel-xposin spiral springs. That basks wuld be cut very low, and filled in with gripher lace. That corsets wuld be pervided with rachets and set screws, to nabel them to be drawn more titely round the waste. That owin to the relertiv cheepness of wool, and its qualerty of xpandin, sted of shrinkin, it wuld ntirely tak the place of cotton as a indyspenserble adjunct in making up the fashuneebel wimmin. In reply to our inquisertiv reporters last query, the young ladie blushed way up b'hind her eers, and xclamed: 'Oh, you horrid noosepaper man! Dont chew kno, flutin wil allwas remane in stile?' “The hoseery department hadn't opened up wen our reporter called, but he was allowed to inspect it. It is in charge of clurks of the male persuashun, cos there sposed to kno better than gurls wot'd look best on the fare purchasers of these indys-penserbel artikels of femmynine apparal. The latest noveltie reprysents a littel mouse, wots crawled bout half way up, and got stuck. “They are in all cullers, and are desined for weerin in wet & slushy wether. The're called 'Good Xcuse' Stockins, cos they giv the blushin weerer a good xcuse, for not gettin her skurts wet & muddy. The mouse looks orful naturel, and sum of these days, we'll heer of sum gallant corndocktor of the Ell R. R. gettin a kik in his stummik, for grabbin hold of one, wile he labers under the impresshun, that he is re-leevin the fare weerer, of a indyskribeibel aggerney. “The neet thing in a hat is a littel bunch of yaller & green velvit, surmounted by a derminutiv Tommas cat, wots got his back up, and his tale runnin down the lady's neck. It costs a hundred & fifty dollars, & the lady's, all say its too sweet for anything. “Wimmin's logic is curius enyway. If there all mashed, so bad, on Tommas cats, Y, in the name of Pennylope Pennyfether, dont they sit up sum moonlite nite, at a back winder, armed with a dubbel barrel shot gun, & slugs? Then they'd get a durn site more'an they'd use in a hull lifetime. This would 'pare to be more senser-abel than payin Lords & Tailor's 150 dollars for a little insignifercant kitten, wot aint cut his eye teeth yet.” CHAPTER XVII. DUMMIE “ADS”--WARNTED, A WIFE, BY THE RELIGUS EDDITUR.-- THE CLIMAX.--BABYS, BABYS EVERYWERE.--A HORRID RECH.-- EXPLERNASHUNS AND PACIFERCASHUNS, WITH A TWENTY-FIVE CENTER AS DESERT.