Christmas stories, English; England -- Social life and customs -- 19th century -- Fiction
‘Yes,’ said Mr. Craggs, ‘everything is. Everything appears to me to be
made too easy, now-a-days. It’s the vice of these times. If the world
is a joke (I am not prepared to say it isn’t), it ought to be made a very
difficult joke to crack. It ought to be as hard a struggle, sir, as
possible. That’s the intention. But, it’s being made far too easy. We
are oiling the gates of life. They ought to be rusty. We shall have
them beginning to turn, soon, with a smooth sound. Whereas they ought to
grate upon their hinges, sir.’
Mr. Craggs seemed positively to grate upon his own hinges, as he
delivered this opinion; to which he communicated immense effect—being a
cold, hard, dry, man, dressed in grey and white, like a flint; with small
twinkles in his eyes, as if something struck sparks out of them. The
three natural kingdoms, indeed, had each a fanciful representative among
this brotherhood of disputants; for Snitchey was like a magpie or raven
(only not so sleek), and the Doctor had a streaked face like a
winter-pippin, with here and there a dimple to express the peckings of
the birds, and a very little bit of pigtail behind that stood for the
stalk.
As the active figure of a handsome young man, dressed for a journey, and
followed by a porter bearing several packages and baskets, entered the
orchard at a brisk pace, and with an air of gaiety and hope that accorded
well with the morning, these three drew together, like the brothers of
the sister Fates, or like the Graces most effectually disguised, or like
the three weird prophets on the heath, and greeted him.
‘Happy returns, Alf!’ said the Doctor, lightly.
‘A hundred happy returns of this auspicious day, Mr. Heathfield!’ said
Snitchey, bowing low.
‘Returns!’ Craggs murmured in a deep voice, all alone.
‘Why, what a battery!’ exclaimed Alfred, stopping short, ‘and
one—two—three—all foreboders of no good, in the great sea before me. I
am glad you are not the first I have met this morning: I should have
taken it for a bad omen. But, Grace was the first—sweet, pleasant
Grace—so I defy you all!’
‘If you please, Mister, I was the first you know,’ said Clemency Newcome.
‘She was walking out here, before sunrise, you remember. I was in the
house.’
‘That’s true! Clemency was the first,’ said Alfred. ‘So I defy you with
Clemency.’
‘Ha, ha, ha,—for Self and Craggs,’ said Snitchey. ‘What a defiance!’
‘Not so bad a one as it appears, may be,’ said Alfred, shaking hands
heartily with the Doctor, and also with Snitchey and Craggs, and then
looking round. ‘Where are the—Good Heavens!’
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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