The Blind Mother, and The Last Confession — John Shaqi
The Blind Mother, and The Last ConfessionCaine, Hall, Sir
General
The Blind Mother, and The Last Confession
Caine, Hall, Sir
Fiction
There was just one fact of life in Fez that gave me a kind of melancholy
joy. At nearly every turn of a street my ears were arrested by the
multitudinous cackle, the broken, various-voiced sing-song of a
children's school. These Moorish schools interested me. They were the
simplest of all possible institutes, consisting usually of a
rush-covered cellar, two steps down from the street, with the teacher,
the Táleb, often a half-blind old man, squatting in the middle of the
floor, and his pupils seated about him, and all reciting together some
passages of the Koran, the only textbook of education. One such school
was close under my bedroom window; I heard the drone of it as early as
seven o'clock every morning, and as often as I went abroad I stood for a
moment and looked in at the open doorway. A black boy sat there with a
basket for the alms of passers-by. He was a bright-eyed little fellow,
six or seven years of age, and he knew one English phrase only: "Come
on," he would say, and hold up the basket and smile. What pathetic
interest his sunny face had for me, how he would cheer and touch me,
with what strange memories his voice and laugh would startle me, it
would be pitiful to tell.
Bear with me! I was far from my own darling, I was in a strange land, I
was a weak man for all that I was thought so strong, and my one
besetting infirmity--more consuming than a mother's love--was preyed
upon by my failing health, which in turn was preying upon it.
And if the sights of the streets brought me pain, or pleasure that was
akin to pain, what of the sights, the visions, the dreams of my own
solitary mind! I could not close my eyes in the darkness but I saw my
boy. His little child-ghost was always with me. He never appeared as I
had oftenest seen him--laughing, romping, and kicking up his legs on the
hearth-rug. Sometimes he came as he would do at home after he committed
some childish trespass and I had whipped him--opening the door of my
room and stepping one pace in, quietly, nervously, half fearfully, to
say good-night and kiss me at his bedtime, and I would lift my eyes and
see, over the shade of my library lamp, his little sober red-and-white
face just dried of its recent tears. Or, again, sometimes I myself would
seem in these dumb dramas of the darkness to go into his room when he
was asleep, that I might indulge my hungry foolish heart with looks of
fondness that the reproving parent could not give, and find him sleeping
with an open book in his hands, which he had made believe to read. And
then for sheer folly of love I would pick up his wee knickerbockers and
turn out its load at either side, to see what a boy's pockets might be
like, and discover a curiosity shop of poor little treasures--a knife
with a broken blade, a nail, two marbles, a bit of brass, some string, a
screw, a crust of bread, a cork, and a leg of a lobster.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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