The Brass Bottle: A Farcical Fantastic Play in Four ActsAnstey, F.
Science
The Brass Bottle: A Farcical Fantastic Play in Four Acts
Anstey, F.
Fantasy drama; Jinn -- Drama
Engaged! [_After a pause._] And how long have you been that?
HORACE.
Only since the day before yesterday.
PRINGLE.
[_Blankly._] Oh! [_He walks down to window._] I congratulate you;
er--heartily, of course. [_Looking out of window._] And--and when do you
think of being married?
HORACE.
It's no use thinking of that, at present. Not till the Professor takes a
rosier view of my prospects, at all events. But if, like a good fellow, you
could put in a word for me, it would give me no end of a leg up!
PRINGLE.
[_Dully, with his face still averted._] You don't seem to realise what
you're asking!
HORACE.
[_Suddenly understanding, with compunction._] My _dear_ chap! [_He puts
both his hands on PRINGLE'S shoulders._] What a selfish brute I've been
not to see! I _am_ sorry!
PRINGLE.
[_Stiffly._] As a matter of fact, I'd quite made up my mind to propose to
her--as soon as I'd got those country jobs off my mind. And now I find
_you_'ve cut in before me!
HORACE.
Well, it's straight of you to tell me. I suppose you'd rather come and dine
some _other_ evening? If so----
PRINGLE.
No. A promise is a promise. I'll come. Mind you, I don't pretend it won't
be an effort--but I'll see what I can do for you.
HORACE.
[_Gratefully._] You _are_ a good chap, Pringle!--one of the best! Though,
really, after what you've told me, I hardly like----
PRINGLE.
Not another word. Anything I _can_ say on your behalf--without _too_ wide
a departure from strict accuracy--I'll say with pleasure. [_Going up to
door._] Eight o'clock's the hour, isn't it? All right. [_He goes out._]
[_HORACE makes a movement towards
the fireplace, as if to ring the
bell. Then his eye is caught by the
brass bottle, which is standing in
the centre of the room. He stops,
looks at his watch, and decides that
he has time to open the bottle. He
examines the cap on its neck, then
goes to sideboard and takes from it
a heavy paper-weight and a
champagne-opener, returns to chair
on right of table and sits, holding
the bottle between his knees. Using
the champagne-opener as a chisel,
and the paper-weight as hammer, he
proceeds to chip away the deposit
round the cap, whistling an air from
a musical comedy as he works._
HORACE.
[_To himself._] I've _loosened_ it. [_He seizes the cap and tries to screw
it off._] It's _giving_!
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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