The Brass Bottle: A Farcical Fantastic Play in Four ActsAnstey, F.
Science
The Brass Bottle: A Farcical Fantastic Play in Four Acts
Anstey, F.
Fantasy drama; Jinn -- Drama
[_Standing behind table._] Perhaps he went back to his office?
PROFESSOR FUTVOYE.
[_Tartly._] He's much more likely to have dropped into his club for a
rubber of Bridge!
SYLVIA.
Don't you think you're rather ungrateful to grumble at poor Horace like
this, after he's given up a whole day's work to oblige you?
PROFESSOR FUTVOYE.
I was not aware, my dear, that he has, or ever had, a day's work to give
up! Correct me if I am wrong--but I am under the impression that nobody has
employed him as an architect _yet_.
SYLVIA.
That isn't Horace's fault!
PROFESSOR FUTVOYE.
Possibly--but it doesn't make him more desirable as a future son-in-law.
SYLVIA.
Horace is sure to succeed as soon as he gets a chance. [_Sitting on table
and leaning over the PROFESSOR._] If you would only say a word for him to
Godfather, he might be able to help him.
PROFESSOR FUTVOYE.
Wackerbath? No, my dear, I couldn't bring myself to take such an advantage
of our old friendship as _that_! I've no belief in Ventimore's succeeding
in life. He _may_ have ability--though I'm bound to say I see little
_evidence_ of it--but, depend upon it, he'll never make any money!
SYLVIA.
How _can_ you tell?
PROFESSOR FUTVOYE.
Because he can't even take care of the little he has! Look at the money
he's throwing away on this totally unnecessary dinner to-night!
SYLVIA.
Oh! When it's just a quiet little dinner in his own rooms! If it had been
the _Carlton_, now!
PROFESSOR FUTVOYE.
He proposed to entertain us at the Carlton at first--but I stopped _that_.
It all bears out what I say--that he has absolutely _no_ sense of the value
of----
MRS. FUTVOYE.
[_Interposing calmly._] There, Anthony, that's enough! Horace is engaged to
Sylvia--and the most sensible thing we can do is to make the best of it.
PROFESSOR FUTVOYE.
[_Rising and moving to the right._] I _am_ making the best of it, Sophia!
If Ventimore was like Spencer Pringle, now!----
SYLVIA.
He would never have been engaged to _me_!
PROFESSOR FUTVOYE.
[_To SYLVIA._] Pringle, my dear, is a steady, hard-working young fellow.
I've a real respect and liking for _Pringle_. And if I _must_ have an
architect for a son-in-law, he is the man _I_ should have preferred!
SYLVIA.
Why, he hasn't been near us for weeks and weeks--and I hope he means to
stay away altogether! I always thought him a conceited prig.
[_Moving towards door at back._
PROFESSOR FUTVOYE.
You may come to think differently, my dear. [_Pulling out his watch._]
Nearly half-past six! Tut-tut! All this time wasted! It's useless to wait
any longer for Ventimore. We may just as well go!
[_He goes to get his hat and
stick._
MRS. FUTVOYE.
[_Rising._] I knew how it would _be_!
SYLVIA.
[_At door._] Wait! [_Opens door and listens._] There's Horace coming
upstairs! I'm sure it's his step!
PROFESSOR FUTVOYE.
[_Stops by table with relief._] At last! Now I shall know!
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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