The Comic History of RomeÀ Beckett, Gilbert Abbott
History
The Comic History of Rome
À Beckett, Gilbert Abbott
Rome -- History -- Humor; Wit and humor, Pictorial
These six young men were known as the Horatii and Curiatii,--the former
being on the Roman, the latter on the Alban side; and to them it was
agreed, by mutual consent, to trust the fate of the battle. The
story-tellers have done their utmost to render everything Roman as
romantic as possible; and the legend of the Horatii and Curiatii has
been heightened by making one of the latter batch of brothers the
accepted lover of the sister of the Horatii.
All the arrangements for the sanguinary _sestetto_ having been
completed, the six champions came forward, looking fresh and confident,
not one of them displaying nervousness by a shaking of the hand, though
they shook each other's hands very heartily. Having taken their
positions, the men presented a picture which we regret has not been
preserved for us by some sporting annalist of the period. Imagination,
who is "our own reporter" on this occasion, and, perhaps, as accurate a
reporter as many who profess to chronicle passing events, must fill up
the outlines of the sketch that has been handed down to us.
The contest commenced with a great deal of that harmless, but violent
exercise, which goes on between Shakspeare's celebrated pair of
Macs--the well known 'Beth and 'Duff--when the former requests the
latter to "lay on" to him, and there ensues a clashing of their swords,
as vigorous as the clashing of their claims to the crown of Scotland. At
length one of the Curiatii, feeling that they had all met for the
despatch of business, despatched one of the Horatii, upon which the
combatants, being set going, they continued to go one by one with great
rapidity. A few seconds had scarcely elapsed when a second of the
Horatii fell, and the survivor of the trio, thinking that he must
eventually become number three if he did not speedily take care of
number one, resolved to stop short this run of ill-luck against his
race, by attempting a run of good luck for his life; or, in other words,
having a race for it. The excellence of his wind saved him from drawing
his last breath, for the Curiatii, starting off in pursuit, soon proved
unequal in their speed, and one shot far in advance of the other two,
who, though stout of heart, were somewhat too stout of body to be as
forward as their nimbler brother in giving chase to their antagonist.
The survivor of the Horatii perceiving this, turned suddenly round upon
the nearest of his foes, and having at once disposed of him, waited
patiently for the other two, who were coming at unequal speed, puffing
and panting after him. A single blow did for the second of the Curiatii,
who was already blown by the effort of running, and it was unnecessary
to do more with the third, who came up completely out of breath, than to
render him incapable of taking in a further supply of that vitally
important article. The last of the Horatii had consequently become the
conqueror, and though when he began to run his life seemed to hang on a
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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