The Comic History of RomeÀ Beckett, Gilbert Abbott
History
The Comic History of Rome
À Beckett, Gilbert Abbott
Rome -- History -- Humor; Wit and humor, Pictorial
Having passed several salutary acts, and secured, as it were, the cream
of popularity to himself, he proposed the election of a colleague who
might share the skim with him. The new consul was Spurius Lucretius; but
poor Spurius enjoyed none of the genuine sweets of power. He was so far
advanced in years, at the period of his advancement to office, that he
had already one foot in the grave, and the other foot went in after it
immediately on his taking his new position. M. Horatius Pulvillius was
chosen in the poor old man's stead, and an incident speedily happened
which caused a difference, leading to something more than personal
indifference between the two consuls. The temple of Jupiter, on the
Capitoline, so called from the incident already related, of the Caput
Toli, or head of Tolus, had not yet been dedicated; and it having been
arranged that the thing was to be done, the next question that arose
was, "Who is to do it?" Both consuls were anxious for the job; and it
was at length arranged that lots should be drawn, in order to settle the
undecided point, which had led to such a decided coolness between P.
Valerius and his colleague. Horatius was the happy man whom fortune
favoured by her choice; and he was in the act of performing the
ceremony, when, without any ceremony at all, a messenger rushed in,
exclaiming that the son of the consul had suddenly expired. Believing
the alarm to be false, Horatius hinted at his suspicion of its being one
of the blackest of jobs, by suggesting that those who brought the news
should go and attend the funeral. "As for me," he exclaimed, "I have
other engagements just now;" and, continuing the work of dedication, he
proceeded to mark the commencement of a new era, by driving a huge nail
into the wall of the temple. Such was the mode by which chronology was
taught to the early Romans, who had their dates literally hammered into
them; and, as long as the consul hit the right nail upon the head, or
went upon the proper tack, mistake was almost impossible.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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