The Coming of BillWodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
General
The Coming of Bill
Wodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
Humorous stories
In shoals during her first two seasons, and lately with less unanimity,
men of every condition, from a prince—somewhat battered, but still a
prince—to the Bannisters’ English butler—a good man, but at the moment
under the influence of tawny port, had laid their hearts at her feet.
One and all, they had been compelled to pick them up and take them
elsewhere. She was generally kind on these occasions, but always very
firm. The determined chin gave no hope that she might yield to
importunity. The eyes that backed up the message of the chin were
pleasant, but inflexible.
Generally it was with a feeling akin to relief that the rejected, when
time had begun to heal the wound, contemplated their position. There
was something about this girl, they decided, which no fellow could
understand: she frightened them; she made them feel that their hands
were large and red and their minds weak and empty. She was waiting for
something. What it was they did not know, but it was plain that they
were not it, and off they went to live happily ever after with girls
who ate candy and read best-sellers. And Ruth went on her way, cool and
watchful and mysterious, waiting.
The room which Ruth had taken for her own gave, like all rooms when
intelligently considered, a clue to the character of its owner. It was
the only room in the house furnished with any taste or simplicity. The
furniture was exceedingly expensive, but did not look so. The key-note
of the colour-scheme was green and white. All round the walls were
books. Except for a few prints, there were no pictures; and the only
photograph visible stood in a silver frame on a little table.
It was the portrait of a woman of about fifty, square-jawed,
tight-lipped, who stared almost threateningly out of the frame;
exceedingly handsome, but, to the ordinary male, too formidable to be
attractive. On this was written in a bold hand, bristling with emphatic
down-strokes and wholly free from feminine flourish: “To my dear Ruth
from her Aunt Lora.” And below the signature, in what printers call
“quotes,” a line that was evidently an extract from somebody’s
published works: “Bear the torch and do not falter.”
Bailey inspected this photograph with disfavour. It always irritated
him. The information, conveyed to him by amused friends, that his Aunt
Lora had once described Ruth as a jewel in a dust-bin, seemed to him to
carry an offensive innuendo directed at himself and the rest of the
dwellers in the Bannister home. Also, she had called him a worm. Also,
again, his actual encounters with the lady, though few, had been
memorably unpleasant. Furthermore, he considered that she had far too
great an influence on Ruth. And, lastly, that infernal sentence about
the torch, which he found perfectly meaningless, had a habit of running
in his head like a catch-phrase, causing him the keenest annoyance.
He pursed his lips disapprovingly and averted his eyes.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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