On the other hand, if a man believes that he is unmanly unless he is virile, and that other men, if they knew of it, would think him a eunuch or womanly, he might (and many do) feel it incumbent upon himself to prove, over and over again, that he is a man. But it is foreign to the sexual act to use it to prove anything. If it is not a joy, and a self-forgetfulness, it is nothing. Hence, the man trying to prove his case, is apt to turn out exactly as he fears. There must be a change of attitude. In some men virility of character is combined with sexual virility; in other men, it is not. If we remember the distinction between extravert and introvert, we may understand that some men may be outwardly weak, but inwardly giants, giants of intellect or of art; and doubtless many of these men, by their virility of thought or of creativeness, have made the world itself more virile. It is said of Michelangelo that he was not normal sexually, yet his mighty torsos in marble, his colossal painting of the Last Judgment could only have been produced by a giant of character. There is no single test for what constitutes manhood. With some sexuality would play a large part, with others not. What is important is that a man be true to himself, and if his sexuality is of an inferior or undeveloped order, that he acknowledge it as such and so bring it to a better development. He may then discover, when he ceases to strain after lifting himself by his bootstraps, that, with the disappearance of fear, he is actually more sexually powerful than he thought. Another great cause for perversion or unsuccessful sexuality, which is also perfectly obvious, is mismating. Between sensitive people, sexuality amounts to very little unless the couple are also mates. A man may find that his wife, however fond of her he may be, does not stimulate that side of his nature; or the woman may make the same discovery of her husband. Without the natural means of attraction, other means are sought for. Some employ drink to stimulate them; others resort to perversions. There is also the case of a woman, brought to an analyst’s attention, who did not love her husband, but was madly in love with another man. If, in intercourse with her husband, she thought of him as the other man and so pictured him, the sexuality was successful. However, this forcible mating of the mismated is not often good; and indeed if the physical antipathy is strong enough, it may not even be possible. In such cases, often enough, another of the simple, but great problems, comes up. It is that either of divorce or of polygamy.