Is man naturally polygamous? That is a question hard to answer. I
rather think that the introvert is more monogamous, the extravert
more polygamous. The introvert tends to go deep with everything; to
concentrate more and more on a few things; and he is the same in his
relationships. They tend to be few, but to be rather intense. When it
comes to marriage, this concentration is apt to exclude every woman but
his wife.
With the extravert it is different. Since his attention goes out
from himself to the world, since his interest is easily aroused, his
relationships are apt to multiply. They are not often deep, but they
are swift and easy, and without great trouble he can pass, if he is
sexual, from one woman to another.
Now it seems to me (though I know this question is still up in the
air) that woman is less polygamous than man. To man sexuality is in
every way a lighter matter. To begin with, he is more swiftly and more
easily satisfied, and, moreover, he has for himself few consequences
to fear. It is apparent that the woman, more slow to respond, gives
a great depth in the response when it finally comes, and the man who
has the key to her must take on an overwhelming value. Not only that,
but her nature connects the sexual act with child-bearing, and this at
once gives the whole matter a more serious coloring. She may, in time,
disconnect the sexual act from that of child-bearing, but it still
remains more intense and more serious than for a man. For this reason,
and especially if the man is the father of her children, his value is
such that she concentrates on him with possessiveness, and this tends
toward monogamy.
However, woman’s lack of economic independence in the past, her great
dependence on man, may have been a large factor in the problem;
and, indeed, today it is not rare to find women who claim the same
freedom that men have often claimed, and who are polyandrous in their
relationships.
It would seem, again, that the matter should be relegated for solution
to the individuals concerned; and so far as the State is concerned that
either divorce should be made easy, or extra-marital relations allowed
for good cause.
As a matter of fact, with the attitude now prevailing, there is much
needless suffering. I remember the case of a man who married the girl
of his choice when they were both very young. He was a man absorbed in
his business to such an extent as not to be aware of any sexual need.
He was content to have a wife who ran the home, was his companion in
his travels, and helped receive his guests. They were very fond of each
other, but had no sexual relationship.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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