My naburs is mourn harf crazy on the new-fangled ideas about Sperrets. Sperretooul Sircles is held nitely & 4 or 5 long hared fellers has settled here and gone into the Sperret biznis excloosively.  A atemt was made to git Mrs. A. Ward to embark into the Sperret biznis but the atemt faled.  1 of the long hared fellers told her she was a ethereal creeter & wood make a sweet mejium, whareupon she attact him with a mop handle & drove him out of the house.  I will hear obsarve that Mrs. Ward is a invalerble womum--the partner of my goys & the shairer of my sorrers.  In my absunse she watchis my interests & things with a Eagle Eye & when I return she welcums me in afectionate stile.  Trooly it is with us as it was with Mr. & Mrs. INGOMER in the Play, to whit,--           2 soles with but a single thawt 2 harts which beet as 1. My naburs injooced me to attend a Sperretooul Sircle at Squire Smith's.  When I arrove I found the east room chock full includin all the old maids in the villige & the long hared fellers a4sed.  When I went in I was salootid with "hear cums the benited man"-- "hear cums the hory-heded unbeleever"-- "hear cums the skoffer at trooth, " etsettery, etsettery. Sez I, "my frens, it's troo I'm hear, & now bring on your Sperrets." 1 of the long hared fellers riz up and sed he would state a few remarks.  He sed man was a critter of intelleck & was movin on to a Gole.  Sum men had bigger intellecks than other men had and thay wood git to the Gole the soonerest.  Sum men was beests & wood never git into the Gole at all.  He sed the Erth was materiel but man was immaterial, and hens man was different from the Erth.  The Erth, continnered the speaker, resolves round on its own axeltree onct in 24 hours, but as man haint gut no axeltree he cant resolve.  He sed the ethereal essunce of the koordinate branchis of super-human natur becum mettymorfussed as man progrest in harmonial coexistunce & eventooally anty humanized theirselves & turned into reglar sperretuellers.  (This was versifferusly applauded by the cumpany, and as I make it a pint to get along as pleasant as possible, I sung out "bully for you, old boy.") The cumpany then drew round the table and the Sircle kommenst to go it.  Thay axed me if thare was an body in the Sperret land which I wood like to convarse with.  I sed if Bill Tompkins, who was onct my partner in the show biznis, was sober, I should like to convarse with him a few periods. "Is the Sperret of William Tompkins present?" sed 1 of the long hared chaps, and there was three knox on the table. Sez I, "William, how goze it, Old Sweetness?" "Pretty ruff, old hoss," he replide. That was a pleasant way we had of addressin each other when he was in the flesh. "Air you in the show bizniz, William?" sed I.