The Complete Works of Artemus Ward — Part 3: Stories and RomancesWard, Artemus
General
The Complete Works of Artemus Ward — Part 3: Stories and Romances
Ward, Artemus
American wit and humor
The Rover fled. He was captured near Marseilles and thrust into
prison, where he lay for sixteen weary years, all attempts to
escape being futile. One night a lucky thought struck him. He
raised the window and got out. But he was unhappy. Remorse and
dyspepsia preyed upon his vitals. He tried Boerhave's Holland
Bitters and the Retired Physician's Sands of Life, and got well.
He then married the lovely Countess D'Smith, and lived to a green
old age, being the triumph of virtue and downfall of vice.
3.7. RED HAND: A TALE OF REVENGE.
CHAPTER I.
"Life's but a walking shadow--a poor player."--Shakespeare.
"Let me die to sweet music."--J.W. Shuckers.
"Go forth, Clarence Stanley! Hence to the bleak world, dog! You
have repaid my generosity with the blackest ingratitude. You
have forged my name on a five thousand dollar check--have
repeatedly robbed my money drawer--have perpetrated a long series
of high-handed villanies, and now to-night, because, forsooth,
I'll not give you more money to spend on your dissolute
companions, you break a chair over my aged head. Anyway! You
are a young man of small moral principle. Don't ever speak to me
again!"
These harsh words fell from the lips of Horace Blinker, one of
the merchant princes of New York City. He spoke to Clarence
Stanley, his adopted son and a beautiful youth of nineteen
summers. In vain did Clarence plead his poverty, his tender age,
his inexperience; in vain did he fasten those lustrous blue eyes
of his appealingly and tearfully upon Mr. Blinker, and tell him
he would make the pecuniary matter all right in the fall, and
that he merely shattered a chair over his head by way of a joke.
The stony-hearted man was remorseless, and that night Clarence
Stanly became a wanderer in the wide, wide world. As he went
forth he uttered these words: "H. Blinker, beware! A RED HAND
is around, my fine feller!"
CHAPTER. II.
"--a man of strange wild mien--one who has seen trouble."--Sir
Walter Scott.
"You ask me, don't I wish to see the Constitution dissolved and
broken up. I answer, NEVER, NEVER, NEVER!"--H.W. Faxon.
"They will join our expedition."--Anon.
"Go in on your muscle."--President Buchanan's instructions to the
Collector of Toledo.
"Westward the hoe of Empire Stars its way."--George N. True.
"Where liberty dwells there is my kedentry."--C.R. Dennett.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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