The Complete Works of Artemus Ward — Part 4: To California and ReturnWard, Artemus
General
The Complete Works of Artemus Ward — Part 4: To California and Return
Ward, Artemus
American wit and humor
To Virginia Dale. Weather clear and bright. Virginia Dale is a
pretty spot, as it ought to be with such a pretty name; but I
treated with no little scorn the advice of a hunter I met there,
who told me to give up "literatoor," form a matrimonial alliance
with some squaws, and "settle down thar."
Bannock on the brain! That is what is the matter now. Wagon-load
after wagon-load of emigrants, bound to the new Idaho gold regions,
meet us every hour. Canvas-covered and drawn for the most part by
fine large mules, they make a pleasant panorama, as they stretch
slowly over the plains and uplands. We strike the South Platte
Sunday, 21st, and breakfast at Latham, a station of one-horse
proportions. We are now in Colorado ("Pike's Peak"), and we
diverge from the main route here and visit the flourishing and
beautiful city of Denver. Messrs, Langrish & Dougherty, who have
so long and so admirably catered to the amusement lovers of the Far
West, kindly withdrew their dramatic corps for a night, and allow
me to use their pretty little theatre.
We go to the mountains from Denver, visiting the celebrated
gold-mining towns of Black Hawk and Central City. I leave this
queen of all the territories, quite firmly believing that its
future is to be no less brilliant than its past has been.
I had almost forgotten to mention that on the way from Latham to
Denver Dr. Hingston and Dr. Seaton (late a highly admired physician
and surgeon in Kentucky, and now a prosperous gold miner) had a
learned discussion as to the formation of the membranes of the
human stomach, in which they used words that were over a foot long
by actual measurement. I have never heard such splendid words in
my life; but such were their grandiloquent profundity, and their
far-reaching lucidity, that I understood rather less about it when
they had finished than I did when they commenced.
. . . .
Back to Latham again over a marshy road, and on to Nebraska by the
main stage-line.
I meet Col. Chivington, commander of the district of Colorado, at
Latham.
Col. Chivington is a Methodist clergyman, and was once a presiding
elder. A thoughtful, earnest man, an eloquent preacher, a sincere
believer in the war, he, of course brings to his new position a
great deal of enthusiasm. This, with his natural military tact,
makes him an officer of rare ability; and on more occasions than
one he has led his troops against the enemy with resistless skill
and gallantry. I take the liberty of calling the President's
attention to the fact that this brave man ought to have long ago
been a brigadier-general.
Col. Chivington vanquished the rebels with his brave Colorado
troops, in New Mexico last year, as most people know. At the
commencement of the action, which was hotly contested, a shell from
the enemy exploded near him, tearing up the ground, and causing
Captain Rogers to swear in an awful manner.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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