The Cream of the Jest: A comedy of evasionsCabell, James Branch
Science
The Cream of the Jest: A comedy of evasions
Cabell, James Branch
Allegories; Authors -- Fiction; Dreams -- Fiction; Fantasy fiction
It was quite dark. Kennaston could not see the woman with whom he was
talking. But they were in an open paved place, like a courtyard, and he
was facing the great shut door against which she stood, vaguely
discernible. He knew they were waiting for some one to open this door.
It seemed to him, for no reason at all, that they were at Tunbridge
Wells. But there was no light anywhere. Complete darkness submerged
them; the skies showed not one glimmer overhead.
“That I am of smirched repute, madam, I lack both grounds and
inclination to deny. Yet I am not so through choice. Believe me, I am
innately of wellnigh ducal disposition; and by preference, an ill name
is as obnoxious to me as—shall we say?—soiled linen or a coat of last
year’s cut. But then, _que voulez-vous?_ as our lively neighbors
observe. Squeamishness was never yet bred in an empty pocket; and I am
thus compelled to the commission of divers profitable peccadilloes, once
in a blue moon, by the dictates of that same haphazard chance which
to-night has pressed me into the service of innocence and virtue.”
She kept silence; and he went on in lightheaded wonder as to what this
dream, so plainly recognized as such, was all about, and as to whence
came the words which sprang so nimbly to his lips, and as to what was
the cause of his great wistful sorrow. Perhaps if he listened very
attentively to what he was saying, he might find out.
“You do not answer, madam. Yet think a little. I am a notorious rogue:
the circumstance is conceded. But do you think I have selfishly become
so in quest of amusement? Nay, I can assure you that Newgate, the wigged
judge, the jolting cart, the gallows, is no pleasant dream o’ nights.
But what choice had I? Cast forth to the gutter’s miring in the
susceptible years of infancy, a girl of the town’s byblow, what choice
had I, in heaven’s name? If I may not live as I would, I must live as I
may; in emperors and parsons and sewer-diggers and cheese-mites that
claim is equally allowed.”
“You are a thief?” she asked, pensively.
“Let us put it, rather, that I have proved in life’s hard school an
indifferent Latinist, by occasionally confounding _meum_ with _tuum_.”
“A murderer?”
“Something of the sort might be my description in puritanic mouths. You
know at least what happened at The Cat and Hautbois.”
(“_But what in the world had happened there?_” Kennaston wondered.)
“And yet—” The sweet voice marveled.
“And yet I have saved you from Lord Umfraville? Ah, madam, Providence
labors with quaint instruments, dilapidating Troy by means of a wood
rocking-horse, and loosing sin into the universe through a half-eaten
apple. Nay, I repeat, I am not all base; and I have read somewhere that
those who are in honor wholly shipwrecked will yet very often cling
desperately to one stray spar of virtue.”
He could tell her hand had raised to the knocker on the closed door.
“Mr. Vanringham, will you answer me a question?”
“A thousand. (_So I am Vanringham._”)
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account