This commonwealth's capito's corridors view, So thronged with a hungry and indolent crew Of clerks, pages, porters and all attachés Whom rascals appoint and the populace pays That a cat cannot slip through the thicket of shins Nor hear its own shriek for the noise of their chins. On clerks and on pages, and porters, and all, Misfortune attend and disaster befall! May life be to them a succession of hurts; May fleas by the bushel inhabit their shirts; May aches and diseases encamp in their bones, Their lungs full of tubercles, bladders of stones; May microbes, bacilli, their tissues infest, And tapeworms securely their bowels digest; May corn-cobs be snared without hope in their hair, And frequent impalement their pleasure impair. Disturbed be their dreams by the awful discourse Of menacing dressers, sepulchrally hoarse, By chairs acrobatic and wavering floors-- The mattress that kicks and the pillow that snores! Sons of cupidity, cradled in sin! Their criminal ranks may the death angel thin, Avenging the friend whom I could n't work in. K. Q. COMPROMISE, n, Such an adjustment of conflicting interests as gives each adversary the satisfaction of thinking he has got what he ought not to have, and is deprived of nothing except what was justly his due. COMPULSION, n. The eloquence of power. CONDOLE, v. i. To show that bereavement is a smaller evil than sympathy. CONFIDANT, CONFIDANTE, n. One entrusted by A with the secrets of B confided to himself by C. CONGRATULATION, n. The civility of envy. CONGRESS, n. A body of men who meet to repeal laws. CONNOISSEUR, n. A specialist who knows everything about something and nothing about anything else. An old wine-bibber having been smashed in a railway collision, some wine was poured upon his lips to revive him. "Pauillac, 1873," he murmured and died. CONSERVATIVE, n. A statesman who is enamored of existing evils, as distinguished from the Liberal, who wishes to replace them with others. CONSOLATION, n. The knowledge that a better man is more unfortunate than yourself. CONSUL, n. In American politics, a person who having failed to secure an office from the people is given one by the Administration on condition that he leave the country. CONSULT, v. t. To seek another's approval to a course already decided on. CONTEMPT, n. The feeling of a prudent man for an enemy who is too formidable safely to be opposed. CONTROVERSY, n. A battle in which spittle or ink replaces the injurious cannon-ball and the inconsiderate bayonet.