I was frankly, at the end of three days, a very prejudiced critic, so
that one morning when, in the garden, my great man had offered to read me
something I quite held my breath as I listened. It was the written
scheme of another book—something put aside long ago, before his illness,
but that he had lately taken out again to reconsider. He had been
turning it round when I came down on him, and it had grown magnificently
under this second hand. Loose liberal confident, it might have passed
for a great gossiping eloquent letter—the overflow into talk of an
artist’s amorous plan. The theme I thought singularly rich, quite the
strongest he had yet treated; and this familiar statement of it, full too
of fine maturities, was really, in summarised splendour, a mine of gold,
a precious independent work. I remember rather profanely wondering
whether the ultimate production could possibly keep at the pitch. His
reading of the fond epistle, at any rate, made me feel as if I were, for
the advantage of posterity, in close correspondence with him—were the
distinguished person to whom it had been affectionately addressed. It
was a high distinction simply to be told such things. The idea he now
communicated had all the freshness, the flushed fairness, of the
conception untouched and untried: it was Venus rising from the sea and
before the airs had blown upon her. I had never been so throbbingly
present at such an unveiling. But when he had tossed the last bright
word after the others, as I had seen cashiers in banks, weighing mounds
of coin, drop a final sovereign into the tray, I knew a sudden prudent
alarm.
“My dear master, how, after all, are you going to do it? It’s infinitely
noble, but what time it will take, what patience and independence, what
assured, what perfect conditions! Oh for a lone isle in a tepid sea!”
“Isn’t this practically a lone isle, and aren’t you, as an encircling
medium, tepid enough?” he asked, alluding with a laugh to the wonder of
my young admiration and the narrow limits of his little provincial home.
“Time isn’t what I’ve lacked hitherto: the question hasn’t been to find
it, but to use it. Of course my illness made, while it lasted, a great
hole—but I dare say there would have been a hole at any rate. The earth
we tread has more pockets than a billiard-table. The great thing is now
to keep on my feet.”
“That’s exactly what I mean.”
Neil Paraday looked at me with eyes—such pleasant eyes as he had—in
which, as I now recall their expression, I seem to have seen a dim
imagination of his fate. He was fifty years old, and his illness had
been cruel, his convalescence slow. “It isn’t as if I weren’t all
right.”
“Oh if you weren’t all right I wouldn’t look at you!” I tenderly said.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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