The Drama of Love and Death: A Study of Human Evolution and TransfigurationCarpenter, Edward
Philosophy
The Drama of Love and Death: A Study of Human Evolution and Transfiguration
Carpenter, Edward
Death; Love; Personality
The astounding revelation of the first great love is a thing which the
youthful human being can hardly be prepared for, since indeed it cannot
very well be described in advance, or put into terms of reasonable and
well-conducted words. To feel—for instance—one’s whole internal
economy in process of being melted out and removed to a distance, as it
were into the keeping of some one else, is in itself a strange
physiological or psychological experience—and one difficult to record
in properly scientific terms! To lose consciousness never for a moment
of the painful void so created—a void and a hunger which permeates all
the arteries and organs, and every cranny of the body and the mind, and
which seems to rob the organism of its strength, sometimes even to
threaten it with ruin; to forego all interest in life, except in one
thing—and that thing a person; to be aware, on the other hand, with
strange elation and joy, that this new person or presence is infusing
itself into one’s most intimate being—pervading all the channels, with
promise (at least) of marriage and new life to every minutest cell, and
causing wonderful upheavals and transformations in tissue and fluids; to
find in the mind all objects of perception to be changed and different
from what they were before; and to be dimly conscious that the reason
why they are so is because the background and constitution of the
perceiving mind is itself changed—that, as it were, there is another
person beholding them as well as oneself—all this defies description in
words, or any possibility of exact statement beforehand; and yet the
actual fact when it arrives is overwhelming in solid force and reality.
If, besides, to the insurgence of these strange emotions we add—in the
earliest stages of love at least—their bewildering fluctuation, from
the deeps of vain longing and desire to the confident and ecstatic
heights of expectation or fulfilment—the very joys of heaven and pangs
of hell in swift and tantalizing alternation—the whole new experience
is so extraordinary, so unrelated to ordinary work-a-day life, that to
recite it is often only to raise a smile of dismissal of the subject—as
it were into the land of dreams.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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