The fear of living : $b (La peur de vivre)Bordeaux, Henry
General
The fear of living : $b (La peur de vivre)
Bordeaux, Henry
French fiction -- Translations into English
There is yet another form of the fear of living. Here, it is true,
there is no shrinking from effort, from trouble, or from battle.
Next to passive selfishness it is necessary to drag into the light,
as Apollo dragged Marsyas, that active egotism which is capable of
displaying the utmost vigor, but only to satisfy an individual aim,
that of one’s own pleasure. This puts to a wrong use our best weapon,
which is energy. It claims to subordinate life to its will, to accept
it only for what it is actually worth, and therefore it fears life.
Doubtless this curious form of cowardice has more to recommend it than
the other, and attracts by a pretence of merit as the Sirens attracted
by a pretence of love. Its motto might be the celebrated definition of
Mérimée: “Life is a green table, which amuses us only when the stakes
are high.” Its defiance of life sometimes becomes a defiance of death,
and we cannot quite restrain ourselves from admiration when we see Don
Juan--the most brilliant incarnation of this bold selfishness--the
breaker of all oaths, the miserable corruptor of all the virtues, alone
in the banqueting hall (where, though lights and flowers still suggest
triumphant joy, the terrified guests have all fled), to see him rise
and go forth, torch in hand and sarcasm on his lips, to meet the statue
of the Commander, whose embrace is to crush him.
This energy which demands violent pleasure is the energy of the bandit.
It is quite possible to find praise for it. I find it, to the life,
in one of those strange, suffocating novels wherein Madame Grazia
Deledda truthfully depicts the manners of Sardinia. An old widow in
the mountains, to dazzle the young Oli, sings the praises of her dead
husband, the best and most devoted of men. “What did he do?” asks Oli.
“Ah, he was a brigand.” And when the young girl is surprised at this
answer, the widow tells that her husband became a brigand to show his
bravery and to occupy the time which is so badly spent when one is
idle. Was it not better than frequenting the inn? And in a lyrical
strain she celebrates this life of enterprise. “They were,” she says,
“brave and skilful, ready for everything, especially for death. You
think, perhaps, that all these robbers are bad men? You are wrong, dear
sister. They are the men who want to prove their bravery--nothing else.
My husband used to say, ‘Once men went to the wars, but to-day there
are no more wars and men still feel the need of fighting.’ That is why
they go in for brigandage, plunder, and violent deeds, not to do harm,
but to show their strength and courage in some way.”[1]
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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