The fear of living : $b (La peur de vivre)Bordeaux, Henry
General
The fear of living : $b (La peur de vivre)
Bordeaux, Henry
French fiction -- Translations into English
After three years’ absence Marcel was coming back safe and sound, a
Captain at twenty-eight years of age, and decorated with the Legion of
Honor. The telegram sent off that morning from Marseilles had been read
and re-read, and was still lying open on the drawing-room table. It
announced his arrival at Chambéry on the seven-thirty train. And that
was why Madame Guibert had gotten herself ready two hours too soon. She
was going to town to meet the homecomer. Already her thoughts were with
that train which was s ding along the iron track from Lyons.
Yet she knew that the meeting would be agitating and that she would
need all her courage. When Marcel had learnt of the death of his
father, he was far away, on the pestilential banks of a Madagascar
river. When death calls those whom we love while we are far away, what
infinite cruelty and bitterness are added to the blow!
The young man’s first glance would be at her mourning clothes and the
recent indications of her advancing years. There would be a shadow
between them. She braced herself for the effort, as she reflected:
“When the children came home by train it was always _he_ who
watched for their arrival on the platform. _I_ must be there
to-day in his stead.”
At this moment Paule entered the room. A brilliant frame of black
hair set off the rounded ivory of her face. A black dress accentuated
her slimness, but she did not look fragile. Resolution and courage
were mingled in her proud bearing and firm glance. The glory of youth
illumined her sombreness with a radiance like that thrown on the sea at
night by the brilliant lights of a ship. This girl of twenty had known
suffering at an age when the sensibilities are keenest. She had steeled
herself in order that she might not falter; and the secret of her
struggle was revealed in her carriage. But withal her dark eyes shone
the more brilliantly on this account and her face wore a new gladness,
as a rose-tree its first blossom.
Her mother was surprised to see her without her hat.
“What, not ready yet? That is foolish.”
“But you are not ready either,” replied the girl with a bright smile.
She had in her hand a mourning bonnet edged with a white piping, such
as widows wear, as she crossed the room with a quick, light step.
“Don’t get up, Mother, please. I want you to look nice when you meet
your son, so I have made this bonnet for you. Don’t you like the shape?
The one you have on is all worn out.” And with a grace that completely
conquered her mother’s opposition, she continued: “Let me be your maid.
Your arm pains you.”
“It is my rheumatism,” murmured Madame Guibert.
When she had changed her bonnet, without even a glance in the glass,
she said timidly to her daughter, for she did not wish to displease her:
“And now, darling, don’t you think it is nearly time for us to start?”
“Yes,” said Paule, “I will go and tell Trélaz.”
Trélaz was the farmer who was to drive the carriage for them to
Chambéry station.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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