The fear of living : $b (La peur de vivre)Bordeaux, Henry
General
The fear of living : $b (La peur de vivre)
Bordeaux, Henry
French fiction -- Translations into English
“More articles about you,” she cried, “in the _Clarion des Alpes_
and _La Savoie Républicaine_. Do you want to read them?”
“No, please not,” begged the captain.
“Some invitations,” Paule went on. “The men of your year are giving a
dinner in your honor. A season-ticket for the Aix-les-Bains Casino.
Another for the Villa des Fleurs. The Baroness de Vittoz is at home on
Tuesdays.”
“What is all this to me? I want to see nobody, absolutely nobody.”
“You have become fashionable! You must play your part. They are
disposing of your liberty. That’s one way of sharing in your laurels.”
“Let’s agree not to talk about it, Paule dear.”
“But everyone is talking about it. Glory is the rage to-day. Some day
soon the Dulaurenses will call upon us, and other people too whom we
have not seen since the story of our ruin got about.”
Her smooth forehead, overshadowed by dark hair, still wore the furrow
which testified to the bitterness of that time of trial.
Marcel said nothing. He let himself be carried away by the
multitudinous memories connected with the land which was his
forefathers’. In his mind’s eye he could see the shadows of the past
springing up from the ground about him and hovering round him like a
flock of birds. Only the members of large families can know the happy
exaltation of spirit which has its birth in an environment that is
fresh, gay, and frank. This blessing, which changes childhood with a
stroke of the wand into fairyland and is able to shed its sweetness
throughout middle life right down to old age, is the reward of those
who have had the courage to live and to perpetuate life. So Marcel
now smiled upon another tiny Marcel, whom he could see distinctly
scampering over the neighboring fields with a merry little troop of
brothers and sisters. Then began with Paule the series of “Do you
remembers.” He plunged back into the far away years when the soul is
still wrapped in mystery, and finally he said:
“Do you remember.... But no, you were not born then. We were lying on
the grass. They were our first holidays, I think. Father used to tell
us about the “Iliad” and the “Odyssey,” and we straightway translated
the stories into action. I was in turn Hector and the cunning Ulysses.
But at that time I preferred Hector, for he is generous and of that
tragic courage which impresses a child’s mind. Since then reading Homer
has been to me like visiting a friend. Who can tell whether or not I
owe to these influences my taste for adventure?”
“But you are not thinking of going back?” enquired Paule anxiously.
“Mother has aged greatly. Don’t you think so?”
“Yes, she is a little bent now, and her cheeks are sometimes pale. You
are watching over her for us. You are our security, Paule, the comfort
of all the rest of us, who are scattered over the world.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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