(_The Page oversets a table in the Countess’s dressing-room._) _Countess._ (_Terrified._) What will become of me? (_Aside._) _Count._ What noise is that? _Countess._ I heard no noise. _Count._ No? You must be most confoundedly absent, then. _Countess._ (_Affecting to return his irony_) Oh, to be sure. _Count._ But there is somebody in your dressing-room, Madam. _Countess._ Who should there be? _Count._ That’s what I want to know. _Countess._ It is Susan, I suppose, putting the chairs and tables to rights. _Count._ What! Your favourite woman turned house-maid! You told me just now she was in her own room. _Countess._ In _her_ room, or _my_ room, it is all one. _Count._ Really, my Lady, this Susan of yours is a very nimble, convenient kind of person. _Countess._ Really, my Lord, this Susan of mine disturbs your quiet very much. _Count._ Very true, my Lady, so much that I am determined to see her. _Countess._ These suspicions are very much to your credit, my Lord. _Count._ If they are not to your discredit, my Lady, it is very easy to remove them--But I see you mean to trifle with me (_he goes to the Countess’s dressing-room door, and calls_) Susan! Susan! If Susan you are, come forth! _Countess._ Very well, my Lord! Very well! Would you have the girl come out half undressed? She is trying on one of my left off dresses--To disturb female privacy, in this manner, my Lord, is certainly very unprecedented. (_During the warmth of this dispute, Susan comes from her own room, perceives what is passing, and after listening long enough to know how to act, slips, unseen by both, behind the curtains of the bed which stands in the Alcove._) _Count._ Well, if she can’t come out, she can answer at least. (_Calls_) Susan!--Answer me, Susan. _Countess._ I say, do not answer, Susan! I forbid you to speak a word!--We shall see who she’ll obey. _Count._ But if you are so innocent, Madam, what is the reason of that emotion and perplexity so very evident in your countenance? _Countess._ (_Affecting to laugh_) Emotion and perplexity! Ha! ha! ha! Ridiculous! _Count._ Well, Madam, be it as ridiculous as it may, I am determined to be satisfied, and I think present appearances give me a sufficient plea. (_Goes to the side of the Scenes and calls_) Hollo! Who waits there? _Countess._ Do, do, my Lord! Expose your jealousy to your very servants! Make yourself and me the jest of the whole world. _Count._ Why do you oblige me to it?--However, Madam, since you will not suffer that door to be opened, will you please to accompany me while I procure an instrument to force it? _Countess._ To be sure, my Lord! To be sure! If you please.