_Guzman._ “How lo-ong since? _Figaro._ “Nine months before the birth of her last Child--And a fine Boy it is, though I say it. _Guzman._ “Y-es--He’s the F-flower of the Flock”--}} And the cau-ause betwee-een-- _Figaro._ A Bagatelle, Mr. President! A Bagatelle. _Guzman._ (_Laughs._) A Ba-ag-a-telle! A pro-o-mise of Ma-a-arriage a Ba-a-gatelle! Ha! ha! ha!----And dost thou hope to ca-ast the Pla-aintiff? _Figaro._ To be sure, Mr. President! You being one of the Judges. _Guzman._ (_With stupid dignity_) Ye-e-es! I am one of the Judges!--Hast thou see-een D-D-Doublefee, my Se-ecretary? _Figaro._ Yes, Mr. President! That’s a duty not to be neglected. _Guzman._ The young Fellow is not so si-i-imple I thought. _Enter Cryer of the Court, Guards, Count, Counsellors and Vassals._ _Cryer._ Make room there, for my Lord, the Count. _Count._ Wherefore in your Robes, Don Guzman? It was unnecessary for a mere domestic matter like this. _Guzman._ Pa-a-ardon me, my Lord! {{“Those who would tre-e-emble at the Clerk of the Court in his Robes, would la-augh at the Judge without ’em.”}} Forms! Forms! are sacred things. (_The Count and the Court seat themselves._) _Count._ Call silence in the Court. _Cryer._ Silence in the Court. _Guzman._ Read “over the Causes”, D-D-Doublefee. {{_Doublefee._ “The Count de los Altos Montes di Agnas Frescas, Señor di Montes Fieros, y otros Montes, Plaintiff, against Alonzo Calderon, a Comic Poet. The question at present before the Court, is, to know the Author of a Comedy that has been damned; which they mutually disavow and attribute to each other. _Count._ “They are both very right in mutually disavowing it; and be it decreed, that if, hereafter, they should produce a successful Piece, its Fame shall appertain to the Count, and its Merit to the Poet--The next. _Doublefee._ “Diego Macho, Day-labourer, Plaintiff, against Gil-Perez-Borcado, Tax-gatherer, and receiver of the Gabels, for having violently dispossessed the said Diego Macho, Day-labourer, of his Cow. _Count._ “This Cause does not come within my Jurisdiction; but as it is probable the Day-labourer will never obtain Justice; do thou see, Figaro, that another Cow be sent him; lest his Family should be starved--The next.”}} _Doublefee._ Marcelina-Jane-Maria-Angelica-Mustachio, Spinster, Plaintiff, against--(_To Figaro_) Here’s no surname! _Figaro._ Anonymous. _Guzman._ Ano-o-onymous--I never heard the Name before! _Doublefee._ Against Figaro Anonymous. What Profession? _Figaro._ Gentleman. _Count._ Gentleman! _Figaro._ I might have been born a Prince, if Heaven had pleased. _Doublefee._ Against Figaro Anonymous, Gentleman, Defendant. The Question before the Court relates to a promise of Marriage; the Parties have retained no Council, contrary to the ancient and established practice of Courts.