_Figaro._ I’ll try--{{“The Lover’s jealousy and the Husband’s shame shall not deter me”}}--Your trick, most noble Count, is common place--A thousand blundering Boobies have had art enough to filch a Wife from the side of her sleeping, simple, unsuspecting Spouse, and if he complained, to redress his injuries with a cudgel--But to turn the tables on this Poacher, make him pay for a delicious morsel he shall never taste, infect him with fears for his own honor, to-- _Susan._ (_The bell rings_) Hark! My Lady is awake--I must run, for she has several times strictly charged me to be the first at her bedside the morning of my marriage. _Figaro._ Why the first? _Susan._ The old saying tells us, that to meet a young Bride the first on the morning of her wedding-day is lucky to a neglected wife. (_Going._) _Figaro._ Prithee, my Susan, give me a kiss before thou goest--It will quicken my wits, and lend imagination a new impulse. _Susan._ To be sure!--But if I kiss my Lover to-day what will my Husband say to me to-morrow? (_seems to refuse, Figaro kisses her_). Pshaw Figaro! when wilt thou cease to trifle thus from morning till night (_playfully_). _Figaro._ When I may trifle from night to morning (_in the same tone_). _Susan._ There, there--There’s all the kisses I shall give. (_Kisses her hand at him and runs, he pursues to the side._) _Figaro._ Stop, stop, you cheating little knave; that was not the way you received them. (_Returns_) A sweet Girl! An Angel! Such wit! Such grace! and so much prudence and modesty too!--I am a happy fellow!--So Mr. Basil! Is it me, Rascal, you mean to practice the tricks of your trade upon?--I’ll teach you to put your spoon in my milk--But hold--Dissemble is the word--Feign we ignorance and endeavour to catch them in their own traps--I wondered why the Count, who had made me Steward and Inspector-general of the Castle, should change his mind so suddenly, and want to take me with him on his embassy to Paris, there to institute me his Messenger in ordinary--A cunning contrivance that--He, Plenipotentiary in chief, I, a break-neck Politician, and Susan, Lady of the back-stairs, Ambassadress of the bed-chamber--I dashing through thick and thin and wearing myself to a skeleton, for the good of my most gracious Lord’s family, and he labouring, night and day, for the increase of mine--Really, most honorable Count, you are too kind--What to represent his Majesty and me both at once--It’s too much, too much by half----A moment’s reflection friend Figaro on the events of the day--First, thou must promote the Sports and Feasting already projected, that appearances may not cool, but that thy Marriage may proceed with greater certainty; next, keep off one madam Marcelina, whose liquorish mouth waters at thee, and to whom thou hast given a Promise of Marriage, in default of the repayment of certain borrowed Sums which it would be very convenient to thy affairs never more to