Everlasting life for men an everlasting insomnia? Let us call to
mind some of those nights when sleep would not visit us, when
open-eyed we gazed into the dark as though it were luminous, our
temples all one ring of ice, and in our stagnant veins a biding
weariness which nothing could relieve. Life throbbed in our ears
with an unchanging beat. The air about us might be loud with rumour,
or be silent; there might be a clock ticking, or a storm raging in
the night outside, but anyhow, and however our mood, the
sleeplessness always in the end prevailed over all circumstances, and
knotted up the customary arabesques of our sensation into one
pattern, mechanical and terrifying in its regularity. A cold terror
would take hold of us--the lucid ordered distraction of severe
insomnia--and we would be lost in a passionless despair, in that
desert of opaque oppression which is ultimate fatigue.
Each cell in us called aloud on sleep, while our whole being thrummed
with the rhythm of life. The entire existence of the aged and the
very sick is an unended longing for repose, and no small part of the
agony and horror of a death-bed is this cruel wakefulness which holds
the eyes ever on the watch. Eternal peace has no terrors for the
dying: but if that necessary nescience was not to follow after, if
their wakefulness was to endure world without end--what then?
Despite our pains life is sweet, while it runs within its proper
bounds; but it would be intolerable if it were endless. On this
mortal earth the giant tree had passed into its last rest, leaving
the general current of life behind it to continue unchecked. The
sequoia, even if it had had the power, would not have been sorry no
longer to breathe in the odours of the world, nor feel the sunlight,
nor pump the sap up and down its weather-beaten trunk. At its hour
of death it was desiring death, the great sleep in which lay repose,
with all its strength, even with its finest stomata, its inmost
grain, its remotest root; and if this was the issue of its seven
thousand years, such should be the issue of a dog's corresponding
fifteen years, of a man's seventy years, of a planet's millions.
In the midst of eternity an age is not so long.
CONCLUSION
_Within a Cell_
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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