The Freaks of MayfairBenson, E. F. (Edward Frederic)
General
The Freaks of Mayfair
Benson, E. F. (Edward Frederic)
England -- Social life and customs -- 20th century -- Fiction; Humorous stories, English; Short stories, English
This reading of the paper lasted till eleven, at which hour, if fine,
the two ladies walked in the Green Park till half-past. If wet, they
looked out of the window to see if it was going to clear. At half-past
eleven the landau was announced (shut if wet, open if fine), and they
drove round and round and round and round the Park till one. At one they
returned and retired till half-past, when the butler and two footmen
gave them lunch. At lunch the butler said, ‘Any orders for the carriage,
my lady?’ and every day Lady Whittlemere said, ‘The victoria at
half-past two. Is there anywhere particular you would like to go, Miss
Lyall?’ Miss Lyall always tried to summon up her courage at this, and
say that she would like to go to the Zoological Gardens. She had done so
once, but that had not been a great success, for Lady Whittlemere had
thought the animals very strange and rude. So since then she always
replied:
‘No, I think not, thank you, Lady Whittlemere.’
They invariably drove for two hours in the summer and for an hour and a
half in the winter, and this change of hours began when Lady Whittlemere
came back from Harrogate at the end of September, and from Hastings
after Easter. Little was said during the drive, it being enough for Lady
Whittlemere to sit very straight up in her seat and look loftily about
her, so that
[Illustration: _The Sea-Green Incorruptible._]
any chance passer-by who knew her by sight would be aware that she was
behaving as befitted Constance Lady Whittlemere. Opposite her, not by
her side, sat poor Miss Lyall, ready with a parasol or a fur boa or a
cape or something in case her patroness felt cold, while on the box
beside Brendon the coachman sat the other footman, who had not been out
round and round and round the Park in the morning, and so in the
afternoon went down Piccadilly and up Regent Street and through Portland
Place and round and round Regent’s Park, and looked on to the back of
the two fat lolloping horses which also had not been out that morning.
There they all went, the horses and Brendon and William and Miss Lyall
in attendance on Constance Lady Whittlemere, as dreary and pompous and
expensive and joyless a carriage-load as could be seen in all London,
with the exception, possibly, of Black Maria.
They returned home in time for Miss Lyall to skim through the evening
paper aloud, and then had the tea with the cakes and the scones from the
still-room. After tea Miss Lyall read for two hours some book from the
circulating library, while Lady Whittlemere did wool work. These gloomy
tapestries were made into screens and chair-seats and cushions, and
annually one (the one begun in the middle of November) was solemnly
presented to Miss Lyall on the day that Lady Whittlemere went out of
town for Christmas. And annually she said:
“Oh, thank you, Lady Whittlemere; is it really for me?”
It was: and she was permitted to have it mounted as she chose at her own
expense.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account