The Freaks of MayfairBenson, E. F. (Edward Frederic)
General
The Freaks of Mayfair
Benson, E. F. (Edward Frederic)
England -- Social life and customs -- 20th century -- Fiction; Humorous stories, English; Short stories, English
After a week or two of noble reticence on his part, she came to the
conclusion that she must also pine for him, else there would be no
nobility in her fixed determination to be faithful to her husband. She
flattered herself that she was getting on nicely with this, when the
most dreadful thing happened, for Joe Bailey became engaged to somebody
quite different, a real live girl with a great appetite, whose
vocabulary was chiefly confined to the word ‘top-hole.’ Winifred herself
was ‘top-hole,’ so was Joe Bailey, so were dogs, golfin’ and dancin’.
Anything that was not ‘top-hole’ was ‘beastly.’
This was very disconcerting, and seeking safety in numbers Winifred
decided to have quantities of lovers, for it was not likely that they
should all go and marry somebody else. To ensure greater security she
included in her list several married men, who had met her too late. Thus
amply provided, she plunged into a new set of adventures.
The situation thus created was truly thrilling, and the thrill was
augmented by amorous little sallies on her husband’s part. His nerve
tonic suited him, and about this time he used often to go out to dinner
with her, and even come on for an hour to a ball, where he sat in a
corner, feeding his vitality with the sight of all the youth and energy
that whirled in front of him. He liked seeing his Winny-pinny enjoy
herself, and gave little squeals of delight when he saw her dancing (her
dancing was really admirable) with a series of vigorous young men. Then
as they drove away together (for when he went to a ball with her, she
had to come away with him) he would squeeze her hand and say:
‘Who was that last young man my Winny-pinny danced with? And who was it
in the dance before who looked at her so fondly? And who was it she sat
out with all that time? But her old man was watching her: oh, he had his
eye on her!’
Here then was the thrill of thrills in the new situation. Gilbert had
noticed how many men were in love with her. And before long she added to
herself the almost inevitable corollary, ‘Gilbert is so terribly
jealous.’
But in spite of Gilbert’s terrible jealousy, and the suffocating crowds
of lovers, nothing particular happened. The lovers all remained nobly
reticent, and a fresh desire entered her circulating-library soul. She
must get talked about: people other than Gilbert must notice the fatal
spell that she exercised broadcast over the adoring males of London: she
must get compromised, somehow or other she must get compromised.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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