Americans -- England -- Fiction; London (England) -- Fiction; Millionaires -- Fiction
The son of a rich Swiss hotel proprietor and financier, he had contrived
to established a connection with the officials of several European
Courts, and he had not spared money in that respect. Sundry kings and
not a few princesses called him Felix, and spoke familiarly of the hotel
as ‘Felix’s’; and Felix had found that this was very good for trade. The
Grand Babylon was managed accordingly. The ‘note’ of its policy was
discretion, always discretion, and quietude, simplicity, remoteness. The
place was like a palace incognito. There was no gold sign over the roof,
not even an explanatory word at the entrance. You walked down a small
side street off the Strand, you saw a plain brown building in front of
you, with two mahogany swing doors, and an official behind each; the
doors opened noiselessly; you entered; you were in Felix’s. If you meant
to be a guest, you, or your courier, gave your card to Miss Spencer.
Upon no consideration did you ask for the tariff. It was not good form
to mention prices at the Grand Babylon; the prices were enormous, but
you never mentioned them. At the conclusion of your stay a bill was
presented, brief and void of dry details, and you paid it without a
word. You met with a stately civility, that was all. No one had
originally asked you to come; no one expressed the hope that you would
come again. The Grand Babylon was far above such manoeuvres; it defied
competition by ignoring it; and consequently was nearly always full
during the season.
If there was one thing more than another that annoyed the Grand Babylon-
-put its back up, so to speak--it was to be compared with, or to be
mistaken for, an American hotel. The Grand Babylon was resolutely
opposed to American methods of eating, drinking, and lodging--but
especially American methods of drinking. The resentment of Jules, on
being requested to supply Mr Theodore Racksole with an Angel Kiss, will
therefore be appreciated.
‘Anybody with Mr Theodore Racksole?’ asked Jules, continuing his
conversation with Miss Spencer. He put a scornful stress on every
syllable of the guest’s name.
‘Miss Racksole--she’s in No. 111.’
Jules paused, and stroked his left whisker as it lay on his gleaming
white collar.
‘She’s where?’ he queried, with a peculiar emphasis.
‘No. 111. I couldn’t help it. There was no other room with a bathroom
and dressing-room on that floor.’ Miss Spencer’s voice had an appealing
tone of excuse.
‘Why didn’t you tell Mr Theodore Racksole and Miss Racksole that we were
unable to accommodate them?’
‘Because Babs was within hearing.’
Only three people in the wide world ever dreamt of applying to Mr Felix
Babylon the playful but mean abbreviation--Babs: those three were Jules,
Miss Spencer, and Rocco. Jules had invented it. No one but he would have
had either the wit or the audacity to do so.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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