England -- Social life and customs -- 19th century -- Fiction; Humorous stories
‘“Certainly,” he says, “of course. Five thousand pounds! What’s five
thousand pounds to us? What’s five million?” he says. “What’s five
thousand million? Money will be nothing to us. We shall never be able
to spend it fast enough.”
‘“We’ll try what we can do, Sir,” says Tom.
‘“We will,” says the old gentleman. “Your name?”
‘“Grig,” says Tom.
‘The old gentleman embraced him again, very tight; and without speaking
another word, dragged him into the house in such an excited manner, that
it was as much as Tom could do to take his link and ladder with him, and
put them down in the passage.
‘Gentlemen, if Tom hadn’t been always remarkable for his love of truth, I
think you would still have believed him when he said that all this was
like a dream. There is no better way for a man to find out whether he is
really asleep or awake, than calling for something to eat. If he’s in a
dream, gentlemen, he’ll find something wanting in flavour, depend upon
it.
‘Tom explained his doubts to the old gentleman, and said that if there
was any cold meat in the house, it would ease his mind very much to test
himself at once. The old gentleman ordered up a venison pie, a small
ham, and a bottle of very old Madeira. At the first mouthful of pie and
the first glass of wine, Tom smacks his lips and cries out, “I’m
awake—wide awake;” and to prove that he was so, gentlemen, he made an end
of ’em both.
‘When Tom had finished his meal (which he never spoke of afterwards
without tears in his eyes), the old gentleman hugs him again, and says,
“Noble stranger! let us visit my young and lovely niece.” Tom, who was a
little elevated with the wine, replies, “The noble stranger is
agreeable!” At which words the old gentleman took him by the hand, and
led him to the parlour; crying as he opened the door, “Here is Mr. Grig,
the favourite of the planets!”
‘I will not attempt a description of female beauty, gentlemen, for every
one of us has a model of his own that suits his own taste best. In this
parlour that I’m speaking of, there were two young ladies; and if every
gentleman present, will imagine two models of his own in their places,
and will be kind enough to polish ’em up to the very highest pitch of
perfection, he will then have a faint conception of their uncommon
radiance.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account