The Lighter Side of English LifeMoore, Frank Frankfort
General
The Lighter Side of English Life
Moore, Frank Frankfort
England -- Social life and customs; England -- Social life and customs -- Humor
The general opinion that prevailed after several long discussions on
this question was that no social machinery existed by which so desirable
an object might be effected, and no move was made in that direction; but
ever afterward the dictation of the feeble amateur who thought to take
the social reins out of the hands of Mrs. Lingard and Miss Mercer
when it was found that they were pulling them in opposite directions,
threatening to upset the social apple-cart, was received for what it was
worth, not for what it claimed to be worth.
III.--FLOWERS AND FRIENDSHIPS
The instance just recorded of horticulture playing a prominent part in
the breaking up of friendships is by no means unique. When one comes
to think of it, one cannot be surprised that as the earliest serious
quarrel recorded in the history of the world was over a purely
horticultural question--namely, whether or not the qualities of
beneficent nutrition attributed to a certain fruit had been accurately
analysed--there should be many differences of opinion among the best of
friends on the same subject.
It was my old gardener--not-the oldest of all, but the second
oldest--who told me how it was that the annual prize given by the Moated
Manor House people for the best floral display of the cottage order was
very nearly withdrawn for ever, owing to the bad blood that was made by
the award, no matter in what direction it was made. It seemed that the
prize-winner invariably found himself compelled to accept the challenge
to fight of all the disappointed aspirants to the prize, and before
nightfall there was a general distribution of black eyes and front
teeth; in some cases both got inextricably mixed up, and this was no
pleasure to anybody, my informant assured me, and the wives of the men
who were keen to compete for the prize discouraged them from it,
with the warning that if they continued to spend their time over the
cultivation of the blooms they might some day actually find themselves
awarded the prize. That warning, founded as it was upon sound sense and
reason, was beginning to produce its effects upon the better class of
flower growers; but there were still a number of young fellows who went
into training at the punch ball at the Church Institute club-room the
day they sowed their flower seeds, and so were at the top of their form
when the award was made in the early autumn, so that if one of them got
the prize he thought if a pity that his training and practice at the
punch ball should be wasted, and thus he was ready to prove to all
disputants that the prize had gone to the best man; while it was only to
be expected that those who had only had the cold consolation of honorary
mention were only too ready to dispute his ability to maintain such an
attitude for any length of time.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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