The Master of Mrs. Chilvers: An Improbable ComedyJerome, Jerome K. (Jerome Klapka)
General
The Master of Mrs. Chilvers: An Improbable Comedy
Jerome, Jerome K. (Jerome Klapka)
England -- Drama
MRS. CHINN. (_Now shaking hands_.) Quite well, thank you, ma’am. (_She
has cast a keen_, _motherly glance at_ ANNYS.) I hope you’re taking care
of yourself, ma’am.
ANNYS. Of course I am. We Politicians owe it to our Party. (_Laughs_.)
How are they getting on here, without me?
MRS. CHINN. Well, ma’am, from what I can see, I think Mr. Chilvers is
trusting a little too much to his merits. Shall I bring some more cups
and saucers, sir?
GEOFFREY. Ah! yes! (_To_ ANNYS.) You’ll have some tea?
ANNYS. Strong, please, Mrs. Chinn.
(MRS. CHINN _goes out_.)
(_Laughs_.) Yes, I know it’s bad for me. (_She puts a hand over his
mouth_.)
PHOEBE. Old Mother Chinn is quite right, you know, Geoff. You’re not
putting up a good fight.
GEOFFREY. (_A slight irritability begins to show itself_.) I frankly
confess that I am not used to fighting women.
ELIZABETH. Yes. It was easier, no doubt, when we took it lying down.
ANNYS. You promised, if I brought you, that you would be good.
GEOFFREY. I wish it had been you.
PHOEBE. Yes, but we don’t!
(_As she and_ ELIZABETH _move away_.)
Did you have a row with the doctor when you were born?
(_To which_ ELIZABETH _replies_, _though the words reach only_ PHOEBE:
“_I might have_, _if I had known that my mother was doing all the
work_, _while he was pocketing the fee_!”)
LAMB. You see, Mrs. Chilvers, our difficulty is that there is nothing to
be said against you—except one thing.
ANNYS. What’s that?
LAMB. That you’re a woman.
ANNYS. (_Smiling_.) Isn’t that enough?
SIGSBY. Quite enough, Mrs. Chilvers, if the guv’nor would only say it.
ANNYS. (_To_ GEOFFREY.) Why don’t you? I’ll promise not to deny it.
(_The others drift apart_. _They group themselves near to the window_.
_They talk together—grow evidently interested and excited_.)
GEOFFREY. I have just had a letter from your—Election Agent, expressing
indignation with one of my supporters for merely having hinted at the
fact.
ANNYS. I don’t understand.
GEOFFREY. (_He takes from the table the letter and hands it to her in
silence_. _He seats himself on the settee and watches her_.)
ANNYS. (_She seats herself on a chair just opposite to him_; _reads the
letter through in silence_.) In my case it does not apply.
GEOFFREY. How do you know?
ANNYS. (_The atmosphere has grown suddenly oppressive_.) Oh, I—I think
we might find some other reason than that. (_She hands him back the
letter_.)
GEOFFREY. It’s the only one of any importance. It embraces all the
others. Shall woman be mother—or politician? (_He puts the letter in
his pocket_.)
ANNYS. Why cannot she be both?
GEOFFREY. (_He is looking at her searchingly_.) Because if she is the
one, she doesn’t want to be the other.
(_A silence_.)
ANNYS. You are wrong. It is the mother instinct that makes us
politicians. We want to take care of the world.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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