The Pot Boiler: A Comedy in Four ActsSinclair, Upton
General
The Pot Boiler: A Comedy in Four Acts
Sinclair, Upton
Comedy plays
_Will (drawing her to table)._ What do you think of my fourth act?
_Peggy._ Why dear, it's just as I said about Act One, you need more
life in the scene, more variety and color.
_Will._ But how can it be got?
_Peggy._ I told you before--you must bring in Gladys.
_Will._ Gladys at this stage of the play?
_Peggy._ Of course! You're bringing home Belle, and you want a
character contrast--the daughter of the tenements and the princess
of the plutocracy. Gladys is still in love with Jack, and here he's
coming home with another girl!
_Will._ Oh, Peggy, that's so cheap!
_Peggy._ Wait, Will--let me work it out for you. I can show you what
I mean. Let me have your pencil.
_Will (groans)._ Go on!
_Peggy._ See now--it's the same scene--_(begins to write, Will
reading over her shoulder. Play-play begins to appear)._ Only Gladys
is pouring tea--
_Will._ Isn't that just like her! Always pouring tea!
_Peggy._ Shut up! There's Jessie and Bob. Gladys has her very finest
society manner--she wouldn't for the world let anyone think that
she was excited by the telephone-message. _(full light on
Play-play)_
_Gladys._ Well, Jessie, I have had a most enjoyable evening. But I
must be going now.
_Jessie._ What? When Jack is coming?
_Gladys._ Oh, would Jack want to see me? Surely not! No, I must
really go. _(rises and starts to door)._ Good-bye!
_Will._ You're not going to have her go off?
_Peggy._ Wait! Let me write!
_Jessie (rises, runs and stops Gladys)._ No, dear! Please wait!
_Gladys._ What for?
_Jessie._ Do a favor for me, Gladys. I know Jack still loves you. I
want you to stay here! I want you to hear it from his own lips. Let
me hide you behind this screen _(starts towards screen with her)._
When Jack comes in, I'll speak about you--
_Will (vehemently)._ That won't do! _(Gladys and Jessie stop.)_
_Peggy._ Why not?
_Will._ It's rotten!
_Peggy._ But I want her to do it! _(Gladys and Jessie start towards
screen again.)_
_Will._ I won't have it I say! It's undignified!
_Peggy._ Oh, don't be silly, Will!
_Will._ I say I won't have it! Let Gladys go on pouring tea!
_(Gladys starts towards tea table.)_
_Peggy._ Let them hide, I say! _(Gladys starts to screen.)_
_Will._ Stop, I say! _(Gladys stops, stands dazed and helpless.)_
_Peggy._ Why can't you give me a chance to write?
_Will._ I can't stand it, I tell you!
_Peggy._ But I want to show you how it would go.
_Will._ I don't want to see it! I won't read such things!
_Peggy._ But if I'm to have Gladys at all--
_Will._ You can't have her! She's got no business in my play! _(He
leaps up in fury.)_ To hell with her, I say--to hell with her!
_(Gladys turns and flees off with a scream; the Play-play fades.)_
_Peggy._ Will, dear, _why_ must you be so unreasonable?
_Will._ Now see, do you want to read what I've written, or don't
you?
_Peggy._ Yes, dear, of course.
_Will._ Well then, drop this tomfoolery and go on!
_Peggy (resignedly)._ All right, I'll do it.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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