The Prude's Progress: A Comedy in Three ActsJerome, Jerome K. (Jerome Klapka)
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The Prude's Progress: A Comedy in Three Acts
Jerome, Jerome K. (Jerome Klapka)
Comedy plays; English drama -- 19th century
(_Turning away from her._) Haven't you? It's seemed a long time.
(_Handing her the letter without looking at her._) I think Theodore
wants to see you about this letter. He's in the garden.
PRIMROSE DEANE.
(_She takes the letter but hardly glances at it._) Don't--don't you
want to see me? You--you were going to ask me if--if I meant--something
or other.
TED MORRIS.
(_Desperately._) Miss Deane, I--I acted a little strangely just now.
Please try to forget it. I--I don't think I quite knew what I was doing.
PRIMROSE DEANE
I will try to forget it, Mr. Morris.
(_Enter Mrs. Ben Dixon and Jack_.)
MRS. BEN DIXON.
(_As they come on_.) Well, drat the boy, you'll stop and have a cup of
tea, and a bit of seed cake. You've got time for that?
JACK MEDBURY.
Well, I won't say no to that.
MRS. BEN DIXON.
Um--well, it's surprising that you don't. (_To Primrose._) Ring the
bell, dear, and let's have some tea up. Lord help the child, what's the
matter with _you?_
PRIMROSE DEANE.
Nothing, Mrs. Ben Dixon.
(_Cherry and Nelly enter._)
MRS. BEN DIXON,
For goodness sake, look it then. There's no need for the whole house to
be like a funeral party. Ted, do go and find Theodore. That tongue of
his will be of some use for once in a way. Tell him that if he'll come
in he can have all the conversation to himself--that ought to bring him.
(_Ted goes out by window_.) We'll have _somebody_ cheerful about.
NELLY MORRIS.
Shall I see to the tea, aunt? You are looking so worried.
MRS. BEN DIXON.
No--no, child. Let me be doing something, then
I don't think. What's brought that artist friend of yours down in such a
hurry? There's nothing wrong with Ted, is there?
NELLY MORRIS.
No--I don't think so, aunt.
MRS. BEN DIXON.
Um--just the afternoon for it to happen if there was. Troubles always
come together in this world, and they don't even make the usual
reduction for taking a quantity.
(Enter Theodore and Ted by window.)
THEODORE TRAVERS.
Want me, mater?
MRS. BEN DIXON.
Yes, I do--look at us all. Did you ever see a collection of people
looking more as if they'd just been fined forty shillings all round?
We want some of your light philosophical conversation. Make us a bit
cheerful.
THEODORE TRAVERS.
(_Looks round._) Too big an order for me, mater. You want a soothing and
elevating influence here. Where's Ben?
MRS. BEN DIXON.
Don't you try to irritate me with that step-father of yours, Theodore,
or you and I----
(Enter servant.)
SERVANT.
Did you ring, ma'am?
MRS. BEN DIXON.
Yes, bring the tea, and tell Davis to----
(_Enter Ben Dixon. He has shaved himself. He enters singing. The servant
remains, staring at his master._)
MRS. BEN DIXON.
(_Staring aghast at Ben Dixon._) Lord save us all! What's the man done
to himself!
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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