For some time I had been spending my free hours in the world of a
gentle old merchant named Jacobs. I lived his life with him briefly,
seeing his wife and children as he saw them, going with him to his
store. His memories were good ones, filled with hard work and simple
pleasures. One day, when I had left the computing tables to prepare
for dinner, I sought the mind of Jacobs. He was crossing the street and
as he turned his head, he saw the shining lights of an automobile just
before it struck him. I withdrew from his mind in a shower of pain and
darkness.
"Oh, he is dead," my mind cried out to my vigil companions before
I could smother the shock and emotion in it. They looked up at me,
questioning. Then I exchanged with them more coolly, "My man Jacobs has
been killed crossing the street."
Keven, the fuel technician, reached my mind first. "A pity, I lost a
subject myself that way not long ago. It is a bad death for them, poor
things. They might build overpasses, mightn't they? A pity."
It has never failed to unsettle me, the way my companions have come
to accept the idea of death so easily. To me it is always a horror,
unnatural and alien. You cannot quite see how it is, Novna, for you
have never been in the mind of one who dies.
I withdrew for a little while to mourn my man Jacobs, for my sorrow was
not to be shared with the others. It was while I sat thinking of the
dead Jacobs that Gven approached hesitantly and sat near me.
"Is it possible," he asked, "that one can read the soul of an Earth
man? Could I? Or perhaps that would not be permitted to me?"
His eagerness made me ashamed of the silence I had maintained between
us. "It is certainly possible for you to try, though it cannot always
be done. You need ask no one for permission."
The delight in his eyes made me forget Jacobs a little. "I may try
anyone at all?"
"I advise you to search about a little. Don't seize on the first one
you contact as a subject. You have less time than the rest of us for
this sort of thing."
Gven thanked me shyly and went away. Later I saw him sitting at the
open panels, looking down at the cloud-topped mountains and sandy
valleys over which we circled. His face was still and pale as he
concentrated.
The next day at dinner, Gven sat playing with his food, looking up
at the rest of us frequently, as if his fear of our coldness were
contending with his wish to open his mind to us. I was not the only
one to notice his excitement, but the rest sat looking at their
plates stonily. They liked Gven even less than they had at first, and
preferred to ignore his presence altogether. At last I lifted my head
defiantly and my thought streamed across the table into the mind of
Gven with such energy and violence that the others raised their eyes
from their food in quick surprise.
"It must be that you have found a subject. I should like to hear about
it."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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