English drama -- Early modern and Elizabethan, 1500-1600; Shakespeare, William, 1564-1616 -- Spurious and doubtful works
CAPTAIN.
A pax of all fools—the excuse struck upon my tongue like
Ship-pitch upon a Mariner’s gown, not to come off in haste—
Ber-lady, Knight, to loose such a fair Chain a gold were a
foul loss. Well, I can put you in this good comfort on’t:
if it be between Heaven and Earth, Knight, I’ll ha’t for you.
SIR GODFREY.
A wonderful Conjurer!—O, aye, tis between heaven and earth,
I warrant you; it cannot go out of the realm.—I know tis
some-where above the earth.
CAPTAIN.
Aye, nigher the earth then thou wotst on.
SIR GODFREY.
For, first, my Chain was rich, and no rich thing shall
enter into heaven, you know.
NICHOLAS.
And as for the Devil, Master, he has no need on’t, for you
know he ha’s a great chain of his own.
SIR GODFREY.
Thou sayest true, Nicholas, but he has put off that now;
that lies by him.
CAPTAIN.
Faith, Knight, in few words, I presume so much upon the
power of my Art; that I could warrant your Chain again.
SIR GODFREY.
O dainty Captain!
CAPTAIN.
Marry, it will cost me much sweat; I were better go to
sixteen whot-houses.
SIR GODFREY.
Aye, good man, I warrant thee.
CAPTAIN.
Beside great vexation of Kidney and Liver.
NICHOLAS.
O, twill tickle you here-abouts, Coozen, because you have
not been used toot.
SIR GODFREY.
No? have you not been used too’t, Captain?
CAPTAIN.
Plague of all fools still!—Indeed, Knight, I have not used
it a good while, and therefore twill strain me so much the
more, you know.
SIR GODFREY.
Oh, it will, it will.
CAPTAIN.
What plunges he puts me to! were not this Knight a fool,
I had been twice spoiled now; that Captain’s worse than
accurst that has an ass to his Kinsman. Sfoot, I fear he
will drivell’t out before I come toot.—Now, sir—to come
to the point in deed—you see I stick here in the jaw of
the Marshalsea, and cannot doo’t.
SIR GODFREY.
Tut, tut, I know thy meaning; thou wouldst say thou’rt a
prisoner. I tell thee thou’rt none.
CAPTAIN.
How none? why, is not this the Marshallsea?
SIR GODFREY.
Woult hear me speak? I hard of thy rare conjuring;
My chain was lost; I sweat for thy release,
As thou shalt do the like at home for me.
Keeper.
[Enter Keeper.]
KEEPER.
Sir.
SIR GODFREY.
Speak, is not this man free?
KEEPER.
Yes, at his pleasure, sir, the fee’s discharged.
SIR GODFREY.
Go, go, I’ll discharge them I.
KEEPER.
I thank your worship.
[Exit Keeper.]
CAPTAIN.
Now, trust me, yar a dear Knight. Kindness unexpected!
oh, there’s nothing to a free Gentle man.—I will conjure
for you, sir, till Froth come through my Buff-jerkin!
SIR GODFREY,
Nay, then thou shalt not pass with so little a bounty, for
at the first sight of my chain again, Forty fine Angells
shall appear unto thee.
CAPTAIN.
Twil be a glorious show, ifaith, Knight, a very fine show;
but are all these of your own house? are you sure of that,
sir?
SIR GODFREY.
Aye, aye—no, no, what’s he yonder, talking with my wild
Nephew? pray heaven, he give him good counsel.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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