LYDIA May every blessing wait on my Beverley, my loved Bev---- Mrs. MALAPROP Hussy! I'll choke the word in your throat!--come along--come along. [Exeunt severally; CAPTAIN ABSOLUTE kissing his hand to LYDIA--Mrs. MALAPROP stopping her from speaking.] * * * * * * * Scene IV--ACRES' Lodgings. [ACRES, as just dressed, and DAVID.] ACRES Indeed, David--do you think I become it so? DAVID You are quite another creature, believe me, master, by the mass! an' we've any luck we shall see the Devon mon kerony in all the print-shops in Bath! ACRES Dress does make a difference, David. DAVID 'Tis all in all, I think.--Difference! why, an' you were to go now to Clod-Hall, I am certain the old lady wouldn't know you: Master Butler wouldn't believe his own eyes, and Mrs. Pickle would cry, Lard presarve me! our dairy-maid would come giggling to the door, and I warrant Dolly Tester, your honour's favourite, would blush like my waistcoat.--Oons! I'll hold a gallon, there ain't a dog in the house but would bark, and I question whether Phillis would wag a hair of her tail! ACRES Ay, David, there's nothing like polishing. DAVID So I says of your honour's boots; but the boy never heeds me! ACRES But, David, has Mr. De-la-grace been here? I must rub up my balancing, and chasing, and boring. DAVID I'll call again, sir. ACRES Do--and see if there are any letters for me at the post-office. DAVID I will.--By the mass, I can't help looking at your head!--if I hadn't been by at the cooking, I wish I may die if I should have known the dish again myself! [Exit.] ACRES [Practising a dancing-step.] Sink, slide--coupee.--Confound the first inventors of cotillions! say I--they are as bad as algebra to us country gentlemen--I can walk a minuet easy enough when I am forced!--and I have been accounted a good stick in a country-dance.--Odds jigs and tabors! I never valued your cross-over to couple--figure in--right and left--and I'd foot it with e'er a captain in the county!--but these outlandish heathen allemandes and cotillions are quite beyond me!--I shall never prosper at 'em, that's sure--mine are true-born English legs--they don't understand their curst French lingo!--their _pas_ this, and _pas_ that, and _pas_ t'other!--damn me! my feet don't like to be called paws! no, 'tis certain I have most Antigallican toes! [Enter SERVANT.] SERVANT Here is Sir Lucius O'Trigger to wait on you, sir. ACRES Show him in. [Exit SERVANT.] [Enter Sir LUCIUS O'TRIGGER.] Sir LUCIUS Mr. Acres, I am delighted to embrace you. ACRES My dear Sir Lucius, I kiss your hands. Sir LUCIUS Pray, my friend, what has brought you so suddenly to Bath? ACRES Faith! I have followed Cupid's Jack-a-lantern, and find myself in a quagmire at last.--In short, I have been very ill used, Sir Lucius.--I don't choose to mention names, but look on me as on a very ill-used gentleman. Sir LUCIUS Pray what is the case?--I ask no names.