The Schoolmistress: A Farce in Three ActsPinero, Arthur Wing
General
The Schoolmistress: A Farce in Three Acts
Pinero, Arthur Wing
Comedy plays; English drama -- 19th century
[_Assisting Queckett with his overcoat._] As you have some solitary
evenings before you, you may lay in a few cigars, Vere darling.
QUECKETT.
Thank you, Carrie.
MISS DYOTT.
[_Helping him to put on his gloves like a child._] But, for the sake
of our depressed native industries, I beg that you will order those of
purely British origin and manufacture. [_Tyler enters carrying a large
common black tea-tray upon which is a solitary visiting-card._] Where's
the salver, you bad boy!
TYLER.
[_Pointing to Queckett sullenly._] 'E slopped his choc'late over it.
MISS DYOTT.
[_Taking the card._] Admiral and Mrs. Rankling--Dinah's parents! I must
see them.
QUECKETT.
[_Hastily turning up his collar to conceal his face._] No, no! They know
me--they are old friends of my family's! [_Tyler shows in Admiral and
Mrs. Rankling. Mrs. Rankling is a thin, weak looking, faded lady, with
a pale face and anxious eyes. She is dressed in too many colours, and
nothing seems to fit very well. Admiral Rankling is a stout, fine old
gentleman with short crisp grey hair and fierce black eyebrows. He
appears to be suffering inwardly from intense anger._]
MISS DYOTT.
My dear Mrs. Rankling. [_The ladies shake hands. Tyler goes out._]
MRS. RANKLING.
[_Pointing to Rankling._] This is Admiral Rankling. [_Miss Dyott bows
ceremoniously. Rankling returns a slight bow and glares at her._]
MISS DYOTT.
[_To Mrs. Rankling._] Pray sit by the fire. [_As the ladies move to the
fire, Queckett, who has been watching his opportunity, creeps round at
the back and goes out._]
MRS. RANKLING.
[_Warming her feet at the fire._] The Admiral has called upon you, Miss
Dyott, with reference to our child, Dinah. [_Rankling, with a smothered
exclamation of rage, sits on the sofa._]
MISS DYOTT.
Whom we find the charming daughter of charming parents. [_Rankling gives
her a fierce look, which frightens Miss Dyott, who is most anxious to
conciliate the Admiral._]
MRS. RANKLING.
Dinah's obstinacy is a very serious shock to the Admiral, who is
naturally unused to insubordination.
MISS DYOTT.
Naturally. [_Rankling glares at her again; she puts her hand to her
heart._]
MRS. RANKLING.
The Admiral has been stationed with his ship at Malta for a long
period--in fact the Admiral has not brightened our home for over four
years.
MISS DYOTT.
How more than delightful to have him with you again! [_Rankling gives
Miss Dyott a fearful look, she clutches her chair._]
MRS. RANKLING.
The Admiral has one of those fine English tempers--generous but
impetuous. You may guess the sad impression Dinah's ingratitude has
produced upon him. It is an open secret that the Admiral made three
wills yesterday, and read King Lear's curse after supper in place of
Thanksgiving.
RANKLING.
[_Sharply._] Emma! [_Starting._] Yes, Archibald.
RANKLING.
Leave the fire--you'll be chilled when we go. Come over here.
MRS. RANKLING.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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