The Schoolmistress: A Farce in Three ActsPinero, Arthur Wing
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The Schoolmistress: A Farce in Three Acts
Pinero, Arthur Wing
Comedy plays; English drama -- 19th century
Another man, I suppose--Dinah!
PEGGY.
Ladies, do explain everything to Mr. Paulover. [_Dinah seizes Reginald's
arm. Gwendoline and Ermyntrude gather round them, Reginald protesting._]
REGINALD.
[_Handing his card as he passes Queckett._] My card, sir.
QUECKETT.
Pooh, sir! [_Throwing the card in the fire. The three girls hurry
Reginald out of the room._]
PEGGY.
[_To Queckett._] I'm so sorry--he hasn't taken to you.
QUECKETT.
He needn't trouble himself! Upon my soul, this is going to be a nice
party!
TYLER.
[_Tyler enters._]
Three gentlemen, sir: I was to say the name of Mallory.
QUECKETT.
Three gentlemen!
PEGGY.
[_Delighted, to Queckett._] Oh, he's brought some good fellows!
[_Reckoning on her fingers,_] That's one for Ermyntrude--and one for
me--and one for--
QUECKETT.
[_To Peggy._] Be quiet. [_To Tyler._] I'll come down.
MALLORY.
[_Outside._] Queckett!
QUECKETT.
Yes, Jack! [_Jack Mallory enters. He is a good-looking, jovial fellow
of about thirty-six, with a bronzed face. He is in evening dress and
overcoat. Tyler goes out._]
MALLORY.
[_Shaking hands heartily with Queckett._] Ah, Queckett--dear old
chap--well, I am glad to see you.
QUECKETT.
How are you, Jack?
MALLORY.
Quaint diggings you have up here. The hanging committee have shied you,
though, haven't they? [_Seeing Peggy._] I beg your pardon.
QUECKETT.
[_Confused._] Oh--ah--yes. I didn't mention it. I have my--my--nieces
spending Christmas with me.
MALLORY.
[_Bowing to Peggy._] Delighted. [_To Queckett._] Did you say niece or
nieces?
QUECKETT.
Nieces. [_Softly to Peggy, quickly._] How many? I forget.
PEGGY.
[_To Queckett._] Three.
QUECKETT.
Three.
PEGGY.
Three, not counting me.
QUECKETT.
Three, not counting me. I mean three, not counting that vexing
girl--Peggy--Margaret.
MALLORY.
[_Bowing._] It would be impossible not to count Miss--Margaret.
PEGGY.
[_Simpering._] Oh! [_Queckett assists Mallory to take off his overcoat,
first darting an angry look at Peggy._]
PEGGY.
[_To herself._] I shall give Gwendoline and Ermyntrude the two that are
downstairs.
QUECKETT.
H'm! You're not alone, are you, Jack? Mallory. No--they're coming up.
QUECKETT.
[_ Grimly._] Are they?
MALLORY.
The old gentleman takes his time with the stairs.
QUECKETT.
[_ With forced ease._] Poor old gentleman! Who the deuce--!
MALLORY.
The fact is, there's been a big Navy dinner tonight at the Whitehall
Rooms. The enthusiasm became rather forced--Britannia rules the waves,
and all that sort of thing--so I gladly thought of finishing up with
you. I've brought my nephew--hallo, here he is. [_Mr. Saunders enters.
He is a pretty boy, almost a child, in the uniform of a naval cadet._]
My nephew--Horatio Nelson Drake Saunders, of the Training Ship
"Dexterous."
SAUNDERS.
[_ With the airs of a little man, but in a treble voice._] How do you
do? Awfully pleased to come here.
QUECKETT.
Glad to see you, Mr. Saunders.
MALLORY.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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