The Schoolmistress: A Farce in Three Acts — John Shaqi
The Schoolmistress: A Farce in Three ActsPinero, Arthur Wing
General
The Schoolmistress: A Farce in Three Acts
Pinero, Arthur Wing
Comedy plays; English drama -- 19th century
Come along, Gwendoline. [_Gwendoline puts herself upon the sofa, and
Peggy covers her with the bearskin._] There--as soon as you drop
off to sleep it will be Ermyntrude's turn. [_Looking through the
conservatory doors._] Oh, how the snow is coming down! [_Joining
Ermyntrude, who is warming her hands by the fire. She sits in an
arm-chair._]
ERMYNTRUDE.
Peggy--do you know what has become of poor Dinah?
PEGGY.
Yes, she's locked up up-stairs till the morning. Admiral Rankling locked
her up.
GWENDOLINE.
[_From the sofa._] It's a shame!
PEGGY.
Go to sleep! Oh, what a scene there was! Admiral Rankling foamed at the
mouth. It was lucky they got Mr. Queckett away from him in time.
GWENDOLINE.
[_Sleepily._] Where is Mr. Queckett?
PEGGY.
Go to sleep.
ERMYNTRUDE.
[_Leaning against Peggy's knees._] Mr. Queckett is locked up too, isn't
he?
PEGGY.
Of course he is--till the morning. Miss Dyott locked him up--very
properly I think.
ERMYNTRUDE.
And where's Miss Dyott?
PEGGY.
Up-stairs, in the room next to mine, in hysterics. Hush! I do believe
Gwendoline has gone off. Are you pretty comfortable?
ERMYNTRUDE.
[_Her head on Peggy's lap--sleepily._] Yes, thank you.
PEGGY.
[_ Wearily._] Oh! [_The door quietly opens, and Saunders appears. Peggy
and Ermyntrude are hidden from him by the armchair._]
SAUNDERS.
[_Sleepily._] I can't sleep in my room. Where have they put Uncle Jack,
I wonder? [_Seeing Gwendoline, who is sleeping, with the light from the
conservatory windows upon her._] Oh--what's that? [_Going softly up to
Gwendoline, and looking at her._] Why, here's my Gwen. I wonder if
she'd mind my sitting near her. [_Turning up his coat collar and
sitting gently on the footstool, he leans against the head of the sofa
drowsily._] Now if any robbers wanted to hurt Gwen, I could kill them.
[_Closing his eyes wearily._] Oh! [_Soon there is a sound of heavy
regular breathing from the four sleeping figures. The door opens, and
Mallory enters._]
MALLORY.
[_Shivering._] Can't get a blessed wink of sleep. Where have I
wandered to? Why, this is the room where the awful row was. [_Seeing
Gwendoline._] Hallo, here's one of those schoolgirls--[_discovering
Saunders_] and--well, this nephew of mine is a devil of a fellow! That
isn't a glimmer of fire, surely. [_ Walking towards the fireplace he
nearly stumbles over Ermyntrude._] More girls! [_He accidentally knocks
over the scuttle. They all wake with a start._]
PEGGY AND ERMYNTRUDE.
What's that?
GWENDOLINE AND SAUNDERS.
Who is it?
MALLORY.
Hush, don't be frightened! It's only I.
PEGGY.
Mr. Mallory.
MALLORY.
I've been wandering about--can't sleep.
PEGGY.
No--we can't sleep either.
MALLORY.
Well, I don't know about that. [_Ermyntrude lights the candle on
mantelpiece._]
PEGGY.
Why haven't you and Mr. Saunders gone home? You're not burnt out.
MALLORY.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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