The Schoolmistress: A Farce in Three ActsPinero, Arthur Wing
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The Schoolmistress: A Farce in Three Acts
Pinero, Arthur Wing
Comedy plays; English drama -- 19th century
Perhaps not; but Admiral Rankling asked me to remain, and, if he hadn't,
I'm not going to leave this house till my friend Queckett is out of
danger.
PEGGY.
Out of danger.
MALLORY.
Yes. Are you aware that you young ladies have brought very grave
difficulties upon that unfortunate gentleman?
PEGGY.
[_Crying._] He encouraged us! He's a man!
MALLORY.
Now, pray don't cry, my dear Miss--what is your name this morning?
PEGGY.
Hesslerigge, and I wish I'd never been born!
MALLORY.
Hesslerigge and you wish you'd never been born. [_ Taking her hand._]
Well, Miss Hesslerigge, the serious aspect of the affair is that Admiral
Rankling has a most violent, ungovernable temper.
PEGGY.
[_Tearfully._] I know. I've never seen a gentleman foam at the mouth
before. It's quite a new experience.
MALLORY.
[_Soothingly._] Of course--of course--and therefore I'm apprehensive
for poor Mr. Queckett's bodily safety. Meanwhile I won't disturb you any
longer; come along, Saunders.
PEGGY.
Where are you going?
MALLORY.
To the front door--to speak a word or two of encouragement to that young
fellow, Paulover.
PEGGY.
Oh, is he outside still? In the snow!
MALLORY.
Why, he has been walking up and down on the other side of the way all
night.
PEGGY.
[_Indignantly._] And you haven't let him in!
MALLORY.
How could I! You forget that our host has forbidden him the house.
PEGGY.
No, I don't; I saw them roll out into the road together. Girls, shall we
open the front door or shall we remain the mere slaves of etiquette?
GWENDOLINE.
I should like to let him in.
ERMYNTRUDE.
Certainly--why not?
SAUNDERS.
Come along--I know the way. [_Saunders, Gwendoline, and Ermyntrude go
out quietly._]
MALLORY.
[_To Peggy._] Well, you'll perhaps pardon my saying that you are a
devil-may-care little schoolgirl!
PEGGY.
You make a great mistake. I am not a schoolgirl; I am struggling to be a
governess.
MALLORY.
Ah, I hope you'll make your way in your profession. [_Peggy has
discovered the spirit-stand on the sideboard and now places it on the
table. _]
MALLORY.
What are you going to do now?
PEGGY.
Brew poor Mr. Paulover something hot. [_Bringing the kettle and spirit
lamp to the table_] Light this lamp for me, please. [_He lights the
lamp._] If you can recommend me at any time to a lady with young
daughters I shall be grateful.
MALLORY.
I will--I will.
PEGGY.
I think I am almost capable of finishing any young lady now.
MALLORY.
I am sure you are. [_Looking at the spirit lamp._] Is that alight?
[_They put their heads down close together to look at the lighted
lamp._] That's all right.
PEGGY.
Seems so. [_They rise and look at one another._]
MALLORY.
We'd better watch it, perhaps, in case it goes out. [_ They bob down
again with their heads together and both sit on the same chair._] You'll
get into an awful scrape over your share in last night's business, won't
you?
PEGGY.
Frightful; the thought depresses me.
MALLORY.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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