The Secret Life: Being the Book of a Heretic — John Shaqi
The Secret Life: Being the Book of a HereticBisland, Elizabeth
Philosophy
The Secret Life: Being the Book of a Heretic
Bisland, Elizabeth
Diaries
Now and again--in his moments of exalted seriousness--man listens to
this ancient voice of the spirit breathing the accumulated experience
of time, and then it imposes upon him the ripened wisdom of its long
retrospect of the generations, and man creates religions--by which he
does not square his conduct--or philosophies--whose bit he immediately
takes between his teeth. But for the most part he stops his ears to the
soul's stern, sad preaching with the thick wax of sentimentalism, and
that undying determination that life shall be not what it is, but what
he wishes it to be--and so stumbles along, through ever-renewed pangs
and tragedies, after a mirage in the hard desert of existence, to whose
stones and flints, despite his bruises, he will not turn his eyes. And
well it is for us that upon many the mantle of flesh lies so warm and
thick that this ghost called consciousness of self cannot chill their
blood with his dank wisdom breathed from out a world of graves. In
the hearts of such as these all the sweet illusions of existence came
to full and natural bloom. To their lusty egoism life has all the
exhilaration and freshness of a new and special creation.
Far otherwise is it with the haunted man, whose dwelling is blighted
by that cold presence with its terrible memory. Forever echoes through
his chambers the cry that hope will be unfulfilled, that love will die,
the morning fade, that what has been will be again and forever again;
that the waters of life will climb the shore only to crawl back again
into the blind deeps of eternity; that the unit is forever lost in the
eternal ebb and flux of matter. Endeavour can find no footing in this
profundity of experience. To all desire, all aspiration, the ghost says
in a paralyzing whisper:
"Scipio, remember that thou art a _man_--that everything has been done
even if thou doest it not--that everything will be done whether thou
doest it or no.... Where are the poems that were written in Baalbec?
Where the pictures that were painted in Tadmor of the Wilderness? Are
there fewer pictures and poems to-day because the men who made them
are not? Who was prime minister to the bearded King of Babylon? Where
is his fame?... Ay, drink this cup if you will, but you know well the
taste of it is not good at the bottom. You have drunk it a thousand
thousand of times, and the taste was never good, and yet you will drink
it a thousand times again, hoping always that it will be good."...
And the haunted man sits with idle hands and withered purpose,
listening always to the voice, while his neighbours push loudly on to
die futilely but gloriously in the unending battle.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account