The interview would be short, of course. He would say to me
just what he had said to each of the assembled pupils. He
would take and hold my hand two minutes. He would touch my
cheek with his lips for the first, last, only time, and
then--no more. Then, indeed, the final parting, then the
wide separation, the great gulf I could not pass to go to
him, across which, haply, he would not glance to remember
me.
He took my hand in one of his; with the other he put back my
bonnet. He looked into my face, his luminous smile went out,
his lips expressed something almost like the wordless
language of a mother who finds a child greatly and
unexpectedly changed, broken with illness, or worn out by
want. A check supervened.
'Paul, Paul!' said a woman's hurried voice behind--'Paul,
come into the _salon_. I have yet a great many things to say
to you--conversation for the whole day--and so has Victor;
and Josef is here. Come, Paul--come to your friends.'
Madame Beck, brought to the spot by vigilance or an
inscrutable instinct, pressed so near she almost thrust
herself between me and M. Emanuel. 'Come, Paul!' she
reiterated, her eye grazing me with its hard ray like a
steel stylet. She pushed against her kinsman. I thought he
receded; I thought he would go. Pierced deeper than I could
endure, made now to feel what defied suppression, I cried,--
'My heart will break!'
What I felt seemed literal heartbreak; but the seal of
another fountain yielded under the strain. One breath from
M. Paul, the whisper, 'Trust me!' lifted a load, opened an
outlet. With many a deep sob, with thrilling, with icy
shiver, with strong trembling, and yet with relief, I wept.
'Leave her to me; it is a crisis. I will give her a cordial,
and it will pass,' said the calm Madame Beck.
To be left to her and her cordial seemed to me something
like being left to the poisoner and her bowl. When M. Paul
answered deeply, harshly, and briefly, 'Laissez-moi!' in the
grim sound I felt a music strange, strong, but life-giving.
'Laissez-moi!' he repeated, his nostrils opening, and his
facial muscles all quivering as he spoke.
'But this will never do,' said madame with sternness.
More sternly rejoined her kinsman,--
'Sortez d'ici!'
'I will send for Père Silas; on the spot I will send for
him,' she threatened pertinaciously.
'Femme!' cried the professor, not now in his deep tones, but
in his highest and most excited key--'femme! sortez à
l'instant!'
He was roused, and I loved him in his wrath with a passion
beyond what I had yet felt.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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