The Trysting Place: A Farce in One Act — John Shaqi
The Trysting Place: A Farce in One ActTarkington, Booth
General
The Trysting Place: A Farce in One Act
Tarkington, Booth
American drama -- 20th century; Farces; Hotels -- Drama; Man-woman relationships -- Drama
INGOLDSBY (_with hasty meekness_)
I’ll call you anything you like; but I want to know who it was that
_spoke_. You say it wasn’t you--
LANCELOT (_very emphatically_)
No, it wasn’t. I wouldn’t ’a’ told you to look under the settee,
would I?
INGOLDSBY (_with a gesture toward Rupert_)
And this gentleman says it wasn’t he.
RUPERT
Why, it spoke again after I came out.
INGOLDSBY (_quite bewildered_)
So it did. Then who--
LANCELOT
I don’t care who it was; what I want to point out, right here and
now, before we go any further, why, I’m in a position to say that
I got some plans for my future life and I don’t expect to have any
intaference with ’em from my family, or from anybody that wants
to _join_ my family either. All up to now, I’ve spent my life in
a dependent position, so to speak, but after what’s happened here
lately, and knowin’ all the _things_ I _do_ know--
(_His voice has risen during this oration, and Jessie, after a glance
to the left entrance, attempts to moderate him._)
JESSIE
Hush! There’s somebody--
LANCELOT
I don’t care _who’s_ comin’, I’m goin’ to say my say. I expect to
settle my own future in my own way, and any lady that I may decide to
make _another_ member of this family--
JESSIE
_Hush!_
(_The eyes of Lancelot follow hers to the left entrance and his stern
manner is instantly softened._)
LANCELOT
It’s her.
(_Mrs. Curtis comes in, but stops uncertainly near the entrance._)
MRS. CURTIS
Oh! I’m afraid I-- (_She turns to go._)
LANCELOT
Wait. I was just talkin’ to ’em about you.
MRS. CURTIS
You were, Mr. Briggs?
LANCELOT (_to the others, reprovingly_)
_She_ never calls me Lancelot. Missuz--Missuz Curtis, I didn’t have
to tell ’em; they’d already found out you were a widow. We don’t need
to bother about that anyway.
MRS. CURTIS
_We_ don’t?
LANCELOT
I’ve found out a good _many_ things since I saw you, and I’m goin’ to
tell you the whole biznuss.
MRS. BRIGGS
Shame!
JESSIE (_with a despairing laugh_)
What would it matter? There’s somebody _else_ here that knows “the
whole biznuss”!
MRS. CURTIS (_struck by this_)
What did you say, Miss Briggs?
INGOLDSBY (_warmly_)
She made a sensible remark, madam. There is a person concealed in
this room--
MRS. CURTIS (_impulsively_)
Oh, dear! How did you know?
ALL THE OTHERS
What?
MRS. CURTIS
Nothing.
INGOLDSBY
All right! (_To Rupert._) I think I know now where he is, and I’m
going to have him out.
MRS. CURTIS (_gasping, then imploringly_)
_Please_ stop!
INGOLDSBY (_halting_)
Why?
MRS. CURTIS (_weakly_)
It’s a friend of mine.
LANCELOT (_apprehensively_)
A friend of yours?
MRS. CURTIS
I--I’ll answer for him. He’ll never mention--ah--anything. He really
wouldn’t be interested. He doesn’t know any of you.
THE MYSTERIOUS VOICE
No; and doesn’t care to!
INGOLDSBY (_angrily_)
Now, I _will_--
MRS. CURTIS
_Please_ don’t!
INGOLDSBY
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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