Tuesday, June 15. I had the most ardent longings after God, that I ever felt in my life: at noon, in secret, I could do nothing but tell my dear Lord, that he knew I longed for nothing but _himself_, nothing but _holiness_; that _he_ had given me these desires, and he _only_ could give me the thing desired. I never seemed to be so unhinged from myself, and to be so wholly devoted to God. My heart was swallowed up in God most of the day. In the evening I had such a view of the soul’s being enlarged, to contain more holiness; that my soul seemed ready to separate from my body, to obtain it. I then wrestled in an agony for divine blessings; and had my heart drawn out in prayer for some Christian friends, beyond what I ever had before.――I feel differently now from whatever I did under any sweet enjoyments before; more engaged to _live to God_ for ever. Oh how short do I fall of my duty in my sweetest moments! Friday, June 18. Considering my great unfitness for the _ministry_, I set apart this day for prayer to God, and found God graciously near; once in particular, while I was pleading for more compassion for immortal souls, my _heart_ seemed to be _opened_ at once, and I was enabled to cry with great ardency. *Oh, I was distressed, to think, that I should offer such dead cold services to the _living God_! My soul seemed to breathe after holiness, a life of constant devotedness to God. But I am almost lost sometimes in the pursuit of this blessedness, and ready to sink, because I continually fall short. O that the Lord would help me to hold out, yet a little while, till the happy hour of deliverance comes! Lord’s-day, June 20. I spent much time alone. My soul longed to be holy, and reached after God; I _hungered_ and _thirsted_; but was not satisfied. My soul hung on God, as my only portion. O that I could grow in grace more abundantly every day! Tuesday, June 22. I was sweetly composed and resigned to God’s will; enabled to leave myself and all my concerns with him, and to have my whole dependence upon him: my secret retirement was very refreshing. It appeared such a happiness to have God for my portion, that I had rather be any other creature in this lower creation, than not to come to the enjoyment of God: I had rather be a beast, than a man, without God, if I were to live here to eternity. Lord endear thyself more to me!