The World's Illusion, Volume 2 (of 2): Ruth — John Shaqi
The World's Illusion, Volume 2 (of 2): RuthWassermann, Jakob
General
The World's Illusion, Volume 2 (of 2): Ruth
Wassermann, Jakob
German fiction -- Translations into English
Though he slept, his pose remained erect and careful. From time to
time his lids twitched; the furrow on his forehead deepened so that
it seemed black; his colourless beard was like a fern on the bark of
a tree. One might have suspected that he feigned sleep in order to
listen; but there was a slackness in his features that showed the
uncontrolled muscles of sleep, and lent his face the appearance of a
lemur. On his excessively long, lean hand, which rested on the cloth,
and, like his lids, twitched at times, gleamed a solitaire diamond, the
size of a hazelnut.
A restlessness had stolen over the company. When the rifles outside
began to rattle again, the young Countess Finkenrode arose and
turned frightened glances toward the door. Szilaghin approached her,
and calmed her with a smile. An officer of the guards entered, and
whispered a report to Tutchkoff.
Eva and Wiguniewski sat a little aside, in front of a tall mirror that
reflected a pallid image of them and of a part of the room.
Wiguniewski said to her: “Unhappily the report is vouched for. No one
thought of such a thing.”
“I was told he was in Petrograd,” Eva answered. “In a German newspaper,
moreover, I read a report that he was arrested in Moscow. And where are
your proofs? To condemn Ivan Becker on hearsay is almost as terrible as
the crime of which he is accused.”
Wiguniewski took a letter from his pocket, looked about him carefully,
unfolded it, and said: “From Nice he wrote this to a friend of his
who is also my friend. I am afraid it puts an end to all doubt.”
Painfully, and with many hesitations, he translated the Russian words
into French. “I am no longer what I was. Your suppositions are not
groundless, and the rumours have not lied. Announce and confirm it to
all who have set their hopes on me and given me their trust on definite
conditions. A terrible time lies behind me. I could not go farther on
my old and chosen path. You have been deceived in me, even as a phantom
has misled me. In a case like mine it requires greater courage and
strength to confess sincerely, and to wound those who had put their
faith and trust in me, than to mount the scaffold and give up one’s
life. Gladly would I have suffered death for the ideas to which all
my thoughts and feelings have been devoted hitherto. All of you know
that. For I had already sacrificed to them my possessions, my peace, my
youth, my liberty. But now when I have come to recognize these ideas
as destructive errors, I must not serve them for another hour. I fear
neither your accusations nor your contempt. I follow my inner light
and the God that is within. There are three truths that have guided
me in that searching of my soul which led to my conversion: It is a
sin to resist; it is a sin to persuade others to resistance; it is a
sin to shed the blood of man. I know all that threatens me; I know the
isolation that will be mine. I am prepared for all persecutions. Do
what you must, even as I do what I must.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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