I remember telling her in my dream that I was quite happy and quite
satisfied; I remember impressing upon her that I was not afraid. And
then it seemed that we talked of other things, quite as though this
death that menaced me had been brushed aside, and could not happen. And
when the time came that we seemed to know with certainty that my freedom
was done, she put her hands on my shoulders, and looked in my eyes, and
spoke words that I remembered distinctly when I woke.
"I want you to understand that I am travelling night and day, and alone,
to come to you, Charlie. I have been with my husband in a strange place
abroad, where I have heard no news; the dreadful news of you only
reached me an hour ago. I am stopping for nothing; my eyes see only one
thing--the prison where you lie. I will reach you--God willing--before
they kill you."
She kissed my lips; and with the kissing I woke, and looked about me.
The warders still sat grim and motionless; one of them, as I stirred,
turned and asked if I wanted anything. I thanked him, and said I wanted
nothing; and I closed my eyes, and tried again to sleep. But sleep would
not come to me, and I thought only of Barbara in the wood, and of what
she had said--
"I will reach you--God willing--before they kill you!"
If she came now she must undo all that I had given my life to do; she
must spoil my sacrifice. If she reached me before I died, I must begin
the fight again, strenuously denying what I knew she would say. I began
to tremble at the thought of that; almost I made up my mind that if she
reached England in time I would not see her. And yet I repented of that;
because I knew that if I refused to see her, she would tell her story to
those most interested, and I should be powerless to stop her. I spent
the rest of that long night lying awake there, staring at the ceiling of
my cell, and wondering what I should do.
With the coming of the day I began to realize that I did not know how
near she might be in that race with Death. At any moment she might be
here, within my prison; and I might find myself face to face with her
and her pleading. For I knew that if once I looked into her eyes, and
held her hands, it was all up with me; I must speak the truth. More than
that, in the dream I had had of her she had declared that she knew the
truth already.
The night of that day came, and once again I found myself in my cell,
gradually falling to sleep. And once again the end wall disappeared, and
I passed out between the warders into the wood wherein I had met her.
The vision was exactly the same as on the previous night; only now it
seemed to me that she looked at me more anxiously, and that there was a
strange wistfulness in her voice when she said the words: "I will reach
you--God willing--before they kill you!"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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