That courage momentarily imparted to Frau Stacher by her niece's
loving nearness fell heavily with the dragging hours in which more
and more miserably she went about the dim, chilly room, emptying the
bureau and wardrobe of their scanty contents and laying them in her
shabby valises. The very old brown leather one dated from her wedding
trip, for Frau Stacher had never been a traveller; it had always been
pleasanter to stay at home or go only to very near places for the day.
Now strangely she was become a pilgrim, and when she was hungry she was
to eat of other people's bread and she must go up other people's stairs
for shelter. The realization of the power of those nieces over her life
terrified her. It was complete if they chose to exercise it. Withdrawal
of their protection, she starved, she froze--just the not having those
few thousand crowns a year put her at the world's mercy....
Even Frau Kerzl's quite unctuous attentions at that last supper of
cabbage-turnip soup failed to dispel the deepening gloom of her
heart. Frau Kerzl was obviously though politely rejoicing. She had
indeed through an incredible bit of luck secured that foreigner, an
Englishman too, who would pay in shillings, in the magic "Devisen,"
for that room in which the very next night he was to sleep,--as soon
as that,--Frau Kerzl already basked and expanded in the approaching
light and heat of those shillings. The long Englishman strangely,
hated short, square feather beds and was bringing his own blankets. It
appeared, too, that he was in the commissary department of a certain
relief society. Anything could grow out of such a situation,--condensed
milk, butter, oatmeal.... The arrangement was undeniably of a marvelous
fertility.
Though Frau Stacher was truly glad of Frau Kerzl's good luck, it
but emphasized her own impending homelessness. She had been quite
miserable there, but at least her living-space had been provided with
a door, and blessed with a key,--ultimate desirabilities as she now
saw, and tomorrow she would move into the uncertain privacy of the
alcove. Then, too, in some way that she couldn't define Irma, her young
sister-in-law, terrified her.
Yes, homeless, in a new sense, she realized herself to be when she went
back into the luxury of her solitude for the last time, and as she
closed the door she knew, indeed, that she had "lived too long."...
In that bed, abundantly salted by the tears of her uncertainties, so
soon to know the deep slumbers of a care-free Englishman, Frau Stacher
lay long awake thinking of those homes, over whose thresholds, day by
day, week by week, she was to step.... She would love them so much, she
would be so grateful, she would hold so sacred the joys and sorrows
which might be disclosed....
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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