The once fat and merry Gusl had had one of his worst nights; spasms of
coughing were coming through the open door of the so-called south room
as the two women stood together for a last time in the sombre little
hallway, sadly stencilled in terra cotta on dark blue. The haggard
agony on that mother's face gave Frau Stacher a deep stab accompanied
by the first and only realization in her childless heart of the pain
mothers know for doomed children. It was something so sudden, so
poignant, as she stood saying a somewhat lifeless goodbye, (she hadn't
yet pulled herself together after being abruptly awakened out of that
timeless, death-like sleep by Frau Kerzl's loud knock,) that had it
remained with her an instant longer she would have fallen in a heap. It
seemed to her that now she was always running full tilt into griefs she
had never even suspected in the veiled and pleasant years.
The ring of the hungry colonel, only incompletely disguised as a
porter, who came to get her folding straw basket and her two lean
valises, broke in on the distress of the two women. Frau Kerzl
forgetting for a moment the blessings that would so surely follow
the Englishman into the house, embraced her, suddenly regretful, in
a rush of hot tears; Frau Stacher's sympathy was so immediate, so
real that it seemed to stand there with them. They hung a moment lip
on cheek murmuring to each other "courage" and again and again "auf
Wiedersehen;" then turned to their now separate paths, Frau Kerzl
running back to her son's room at a faint and gurgling sound and Frau
Stacher to continue what she called, (though no one knew it,) her
"March among the Ruins," walking close behind the porter, sweating
a neurasthenic sweat, in the raw January air under his unaccustomed
load. She felt safer quite near him for those once cosy, familiar
streets seemed now to converge to the unknown, to infinity even, and
the proximity of her valises somewhat steadied her. With genteel,
restrained little steps, her elbows pressed to her sides, her hands
clasped in front holding her umbrella and her shabby little bag that
always came unfastened if she didn't look out and somebody would tell
her it was open, she proceeded to the street off the Hoher Markt where
Irma, her brother's widow, half starved with her three boys on the
famous pension, together with what various members of the family gave
her and what she herself made by her beautiful "petit point," dimming
every year a little more those once hard, bright eyes.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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