Wee Johnnie Paterson, & other humorous sketches — John Shaqi
Wee Johnnie Paterson, & other humorous sketchesStevenson, W. Grant (William Grant)
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Wee Johnnie Paterson, & other humorous sketches
Stevenson, W. Grant (William Grant)
English fiction -- Scottish authors; Humorous stories, Scottish
"The dear, sweet, innocent thing; I hope it will find its way; it's
flying round about, poor thing."
"Oh, it's all right. Scotland's lost the toss; they're kicking off."
"I wonder you can laugh, dear," said Mrs. M'Cranky a few minutes
later; "didn't you see one of the Wales men knocked over, and his
trousers are all mud, and the clumsy fellow who did it never stopped
to apologise. No wonder the English think we're a set of savages.
Hold your tongue, dear; don't shout like that. I wouldn't encourage
them, and the people will hear you. There's another man down; it's
perfectly disgraceful; and there's that stupid policeman looking on
and pretending he doesn't see it. Now, if that were to happen in the
street, he would take the man up quick enough. If I were these men
from Wales, I would never come back."
"Well stopped, Cameron!" shouted M'Cranky.
"Oh, do you know them, dear? He's knocked down, I declare. The
Welshmen are no better than ours. Is the little one Cameron?"
"Yes, yes; don't haver, it was well stopped."
"But that Welshman ought to be ashamed of himself; he's so much
bigger than Cameron. Is he nice?--Cameron, I mean."
"Yes, a very nice fellow."
"Well, I think it's cruel to behave like that; he might have been
hurt. What's the use of behaving like that? I don't understand what
they're trying to do. What's the use of--look at that! I'm not
going to stay here any longer; somebody is sure to get hurt. There
was a man took another by the neck and deliberately threw him on the
ground, just because he had the ball, I suppose. What's the use of
fighting like that over a ball? Can they not take the other one--I
saw them bring in two--and let each side use their own ball? Do you
see any fun in that? Come away home, dear; you're shaking with cold."
M'Cranky was shaking, but it was with excitement.
"Not precious likely," he said. "I wouldn't miss this for anything.
Pass! The idiot! why didn't he pass?"
"He couldn't get past, dear. You shouldn't speak like that. Didn't
you see that man took a hold of him as if he had been a pickpocket?
What are they doing now?"
"Scrimmage."
"I declare the people are all mad, shouting 'Scotland.' Can't they
see the poor fellows are doing their best; and, besides, it's bad
taste before the visitors. I can't understand you men; you wouldn't
hurt a fly, and yet you laugh and shout 'well played' or something
when a man throws another down and falls on the top of him. I didn't
think you could be so cruel."
"Rubbish! Well saved again, Cameron! Played, MacGregor!"
"If you know the gentlemen, you should speak to them, dear; tell them
not to be so rough, and I'm sure they would enjoy the game better.
What will their mothers say when they go home with their clothes in
such a mess! I wouldn't let them play if they were mine."
"Half-time. Well, the Scotch should do something next half, with
what wind there is in their favour."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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